#lifelessons101 – Inviting  financial abundance into your house and home (4 min read)

 

We want to be more abundant, it is after all humanity’s Utopian natural state.   Health, wealth and happiness  (not necessarily in that order) is something we all desire.  And if you look at the world’s resources, there is more than enough for everyone so realistically we can all live abundant lives.  Yet in spite of that there is an imbalance in world of 21st century abundance. Some people have abundant lives and others don’t. Especially when it comes to money.

Personally I have had a terrible relationship with money (maybe you can relate). For almost all of my life I have craved abundant finances to go with my abundant life. For years I have been putting my positive vibrations out into the world and focusing on manifesting the abundant finances. And what has happened…………..the exact opposite. It’s not even like I haven’t been working for my abundance. I am dedicated hardworking, yet for a long, long  time nothing has seemed to have shifted. Money always seemed to come along and trip me up.  Sometimes it has felt like money had it in for me. And yet of course it wasn’t. My bad relationship with money was created by me. Not by being dumb with my finances (weeee’llll may be a tiny bit) but mostly by my conscious and unconscious negative associations and attitudes towards money and wealth.

So I have decided here and now in 2017 that my bad relationship with money is in the past and from now on money and I are going to have a glorious future together.  It is time to make friends with money. This is the year where I am going to shift into my natural state of abundance. And I want to take you all along for the journey with me.

This is obviously not a journey that will be overnight (or in one #lifelesson101). We all know how long it takes to get over a bad relationship and make friends with an ex. This is one love affair that is going to take some effort to create. However in this first month I have made some real progress and already I can see a shift, if not physically but energetically in my state of financial abundance. I have spent this month inviting abundance into my house and home and baby step, by baby step, the universe is beginning to respond.  Here’s how I have been doing it….

Writing to money as if it was a person:

On the advice of my mentor I wrote money a letter as though it was a person . I let all of my feelings and frustrations about money gush out and wow was I shocked by the strength, passion and in fact unadulterated hatred that spilled out onto the page.

However it was a really positive experience as for the first time in my life I could really see where my problems with money started and identify what I needed to do. When you know what the problem is you are ten times closer to the solution so I highly recommend do this groundwork.

Forgiveness

If we have had a bad time in any relationship we need to forgive the other person and ourselves if you are to have a positive future together. Well I had (and have) a lot of forgiving to do to rebuild my relationship with money. At the moment I am working with one of my favourite methods of forgiveness the Hawaiian practice of Ho’oponopono. I could write a whole article about this but as Johnathan Davis has already written  a brilliant article I highly recommend you read that after this. (Click here)

Thanking

The practice of gratitude improves every aspect of life, no matter what it is.  I had honestly never thought of thanking money for what it gives me. I started by writing a gratitude list. “I am thankful to money for giving me food, my diabetic medicine, the opportunity to study” so on and so forth. It was exhilarating! It was amazing how much money does for me that I had never really thought about. Try it. Think about everything money gives you, the list is endless.

Continuing  on this practise of being grateful to money for its gifts when I now have a bill to pay I thank the universe for it’s abundance that I have the money to pay it rather than stressing about having another bill. It makes paying bills so much more enjoyable than before!

Invitation into my life and my home.

When we meet someone we want to have a relationship with we at some point invite them into our homes. We make them feel important and welcome and naturally they respond to the invitations we send to them. Now I am starting to feel more comfortable with money I have opened up my house to money and abundance by creating an abundance altar. I highly recommend it. The idea initially was to attract money however as I started to think about what abundance means to me I found that not only did I want to have representations of my finances I also wanted things that represented what makes me feel abundant Now my altar has my business cards, pictures of my family, silver, abundance affirmations, candles I made at one of the goal setting workshops I ran and a bowl containing slips of paper with everything,  everyplace and everyone  written on that makes me feel rich and abundant. Starting next week I intend to take out one of these pieces of paper everyday and that the universe for the abundance it has given me on whatever I have written on that piece of paper.  I’ll let you know how it goes.

A new perspective

As this month has gone on I am noticing more and more that instead of seeing money as this limiting and bossy thing in my life I have begun to view money simply as energy.  Wonderful giving energy. And this my friends is where the shift has really started to happen.

By seeing money as something that gives and viewing it as fluid moving abundance I have freed up a massive part of my consciousness. I am slowly emptying myself of my old negative limiting beliefs about money. as my enemy, which means I now have space in myself to see money as positive energetic expression of the abundance of the universe.

————————————————————————–

This process has shown me how abundant and rich my life is. It has motivated me to give more, to think less of myself and think more of how I can help others feel happier, the way I do right now.  One month ago I was coming from a place where I  blamed lack of money as the source of discontent in my life. And now? Now I feel abundant all the time. When the smaller abundances come along I notice and practice gratitude. And the more I do this, the more abindance I attract. I have in fact in this week managed to manifest a pair of scales in 5 mins for only 3 pounds. Desire, thought manifestation. It was honestly that easy. (And an affordable scales in 5 minutes is not an easy manifestation.)

Has my monetary wealth increased in this month. Not yet, well actually a little. However the doubt that I will attract more money to my life is dissapearing. And we already know that when you free space in your mind by removing negative thoughts, patterns and behaviours you leave space for ………………………… well let’s see what enters in the next month. I have a few more strategies I am planning on trying out so check in next month to see how my abundance journey is going

Dedicate an hour and a space in your home to exploring your relationship with money and make an abundance altar. I promise you that you will feel a shift in your outlook . (And please please do post pics below of your abundance altars so we can inspire each other!)

Have a great weekend and remember enjoy the journey!

 

8.jpg

Spring to life! Inspiration from nature for your own personal Spring growth in 5 steps.

Spring is here! No it is. Really. I know you may not feel it right now looking out of your window at the grey colour of the sky, but it is really here. Look a little longer and deeper at the outside world. And listen. Outside in nature everything has come alive once more. The deep green shoots are pushing through the earth, snow drops, daffodils, crocuses. Colour is returning around us. Birds are flying around us and the air filled with their songs.

You might be thinking “ Yay, woohoo. Spring is here. What the heck does that have to do with with my personal growth and reaching my goals?” Well I’m glad you asked because Spring can actually boost our personal growth, if we choose  to let it.

Let me explain. Right now we are actually at a special point in the solar calendar (Or to use its proper name the Astronomical calendar. For a more in depth explanation click here). It is the time of Spring Equinox. What this basically means is that we here have a short period where day and night are at equal length. It is a point of transition, it could be said between the darker half of the year, Autumn and Winter; and the year’s lighter half, Spring and Summer. After this point in the year this is when nature goes completely ballistic with activity (pretty much until its exact opposite time in the calendar Autumn Equinox). From the flurry of activity preparing the beds in the garden and planting seeds now the first frosts have gone, to the buds that are starting to sprout leaves on the trees and the explosion of birth in the animal kingdom, spring is like nature’s equivalent of our pre christmas  shopping. The game is on! Now we are part of this natural cycle, no matter how far removed our lives seem from it today. Something in our deepest dna gets reawoken during the spring. Instinctively we feel that this is a time of transformation and of new birth.

We used to be really in touch with this  shift in nature’s cycle before we became an industrial society. Today however around Equinox people just tend to feel a little wobbly beforehand and then improve and balance out again afterwards, without noticing or understanding why. (It’s actually very obvious to see if you are working with children, the same as when it’s full moon their energy goes temporarily bananas.)

Once the Equinox is over, and with the added bonus of sunshine; we start to feel friskier, more alive.  So instead of walking around with our head in the proverbial, and in some cases actual smog of modern life. Imagine what you could achieve if you could harness this transformational and vibrant life energy of Spring and applied it to your own life. How different would your life look with a transformation, an energy boost and a surge of inspired activity leading to your own growth?

Very different. And trust me it feels very, very good. In the last 20 years I have been working with nature’s cycles as a guide and tool for my own personal growth and I want to share with you a 5 things you can do to connect with the boost of Spring and re-energise your life. These suggestions are easy and practical to do and will fit into any lifestyle and time frame. You can choose one, a few or all of the below. Do those that inspire you, whatever steps you try you will gain you a fantastic boost of inspiration, whilst reconnecting you with a cycle that humans have been part of since the dawn of humankind.

As its Spring Equinox today why not try the first today and get reconnected with yourself.

Go out for a walk alone

Its simply that. As soon as you can go out for a good hour on your own. Go where it is green. This can be in a woods, in a forest, around the local park and cemetery. Wherever nature is around you. Ignore your phone, Facebook, Twitter, Tinder, emails, sms’s. For this one hour nothing but you and nature exists. (If it helps put some music on.) Use your time to look for signs of the spring returning. Look down at the ground and up at the trees. Smell the earth. Instead of just observing nature, interact with nature. Touch, feel , smell and listen to it. Give yourself the opportunity to awaken your senses and have a sensory experience. Our senses work to engage our attention and help our brain become more alert of our surroundings so when we stimulate them we are actually giving our brain a workout, giving ourselves more focus and intelligence.

Whilst walking allow yourself to think about your life, your goals. Allow inspiration to come and go. I often use nature as the macrocosm to reflect the microcosm of my life. How does it reflect externally what is happening with me internally. When you get home allow yourself 30 mins to free write any of the observations, inspirations, realisations you had.

(This is a great way to connect in with nature AND yourself. It can be done at any time of the year, each season has its own glory and teaching. If you don’t have a chance to do anything else do this one. For something so simple it has such a huge payback.)

Balance yourself

Nature is doing it so why not join in. After all when did you last check in with yourself? Balancing yourself could take the form of making a work life balance assessment (The Life MOT ), realigning your chakras, taking a yoga class or practising a five minute balancing meditation exercise (Here’s my favourite the Tree of Life on Youtube for some inspiration.) Another great way to do this if you have the opportunity is to create an equinox day for yourself giving yourself equal hours of work, rest  and play.  

Clear out

Spring is traditionally associated with “ the spring clean”. In my opinion this tradition arises from the time when we had been staying inside the longhouse during the winter. With the arrival of spring and the new light, more time can be spent outdoors therefore it was time to clean out the house to make space for the new food and materials to be stored after harvest.

Although spring cleaning your home may seem like an arduous and strange task to be doing to help us tune into nature, it is in fact bringing us home into the cycle. In order for new growth after winter beds need to be cleared for the new plants coming. When we tidy around ourselves we also tidy within ourselves (an in times of mind turmoil and confusion can be the achievable task that gets you through the day). Physically by shifting the winter’s dust and cobwebs you are also making your home a healthier place to be. Spring cleaning as unlikely as it seems is a true mind body spirit procedure. So grab a duster, chuck out the old bills you have no use for and if you want a good cleansing after all that hard work book yourself into a spa detox day, go have a healthy lunch with a detox smoothie with friends or jump into the sauna at the local swimming pool. After all life doesn’t all have to be hard work!

Make or revisit your plans

A great way of harnessing the Spring energy is to make or revisit your plans for the year. What goals are working towards? What do you want to create for yourself or your friends and family this year? I find that making plans for actualising my dreams are a lot easier after the Spring Equinox than before. (And if you haven’t got any plans for this year then have a look at my 4 part series on making new year’s resolutions that are easy to keep, it is still new year after all).

It’s at Equinox I revisit my plans, check in to see what is actually realistic now I am further into the year and make detailed plans for those goals. We have in our house a ritual where we combine an Easter tradition and spring goal setting by blowing and painting 3 eggs. (I know it does sound a little strange, bear with me and I’ll explain). On each egg we paint symbols of our 3 main goals we want to achieve. It is a fun way of refocusing our own energy and the symbology of the egg itself reminds us of the spring birth energy throughout the year. And we get to invite our inner children and creative minds into our goal setting process. (Btw the eggs often do look as though our inner children have painted them!)

Take positive action

Remember Walt Disney said “The way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing.” Of And nothing beats connecting with Spring energy like taking positive action. Doing something constructive for new growth is the real theme in nature right now. Personally it is at this time of year I connect with my accountability partner (we have a winter break from Jan – March.) At this time of year we lay out our new goal achieving strategies and support each other to take action. An accountability partner is a great way to support you to manifest what you want in your life. However you might be in need of a different type of positive action. It could be you need a day out to rest and recuperate or an evening connecting with your family to reconnect with yourself. Or it could be time for a life overhaul or just doing that thing that has been bugging you for ages that you haven’t got around to doing. Whatever it is identify what you need to do and do it. And then do the next thing. Small achievements and big achievements go a long way in making us feel great about ourselves and our abilities. So get out there and get going. You will feel fantastic afterwards.  Personally I will be found weeding our garden this weekend. ( I haven’t a clue exactly how to do this as I have never really had my own vegetable garden before, however I am gonna give it my best!)

————————————————————————–

Have a great week allowing the Spring Equinox energy to inspire growth, balance and action in your life and have fun getting your spring boost on!

Happy Spring Equinox ❤

HALDEN.png

 

#lifelessons101- The ultimate instant stress relief – Set you inner child free this weekend! (4 min read)

This week has been amazing! Honestly I haven’t enjoyed myself so much in such a long time.

And why? Well this week I have spent a lot of time doing things that has made my inner child incredibly happy. I kid you not! (Sorry. Inexcusable terrible pun… I couldn’t resist it)

Seriously though the last month or so has been stressful (even life coaches get their fair share of tough times you know – I like to think of them as opportunities to practise what I preach and walk my talk). However after finding the 3 steps to turning my monday frown upside down meant I released my inner child, she just continued wanting to play. All the time. So I thought what the heck and decided to make opportunities for her to do just that. We painted, we played games, we watched funny films and we danced, a lot. As often as appropriately possible I took the non serious approach to life and was even to be found galloping around a car park and practicing human dressage! (See the wonderful BBC tv series Miranda.)

The result? I am happier and feeling healthier. I’m definitely more relaxed and freer within myself. The biggest shock of all was that today I found out that in the middle of all of this I have also managed to complete all of my major tasks WITHOUT NOTICING IT! Somehow just by making minimal daily lists and making time for me to indulge my inner child’s whims, I have had one of the most productive weeks I have had in 2017.

Now don’t get me wrong, I get that most of us can’t always release our inner child whenever we want. Not the best idea when pulled over for a random spot check breathalyzer for example. However what I have discovered this week is that allowing my inner child to rule the roost, I have also made other people smile. Which honestly has made my life so much better on so many levels. In the words of Miranda “Life needs to be more jolly”. And it’s true. Everyone needs to feel happier. I can’t think of a single person who if asked “would you like to be happier or more stressed ?”, would opt for stress. So by letting your childish side come out you can actually improve the world around you.

You might be thinking. That’s ridiculous! I can’t be childish all the time. Well no I expect you can’t if you interpret the world childish in a particular way. Especially not if yo look down upon children as lesser than adults. However when I think about children I think about how they see and interact with the world. Children are inquisitive, they want to know how the world works. Children find joy in the smallest of things like a pretty stone, a funny face. They laugh more than us. Children are in touch with their feelings. Children find every possible opportunity to play.  Children are naturally kind and caring. They are not afraid to show love to anyone who needs it or who gives it to them. Children use their joy and their fantasy to make the world a special amazing place and create their dreams. Now that doesn’t sound like so bad a person to be. Does it?

The challenge is for us as adults to tap into our childish source without stepping completely out of our current role. So if you as an adult want  to be less stressed out. To be like the children I described above  then you need to consciously give your inner child a chance to come out. This weekend release your inner child! Do whatever it is that made your 8 year old self happy that you don’t do now. Reconnect with the you that you were to find the joy in who you are now.

Whether you decide to continue giving your inner child opportunities to come out after the weekend is entirely up to you. However I can guarantee that if twice this weekend (once on  Saturday and once on Sunday) that you do something you used to love as a child, your stress level will be dramatically reduced.  It is also so much more fun to do this with a friend, so get your friends family involved – its play date time!

Explore you childishness this weekend. And on n Monday it’s up to you to decide if you want to build a new pillow fort every day and keep connect with your inner child daily or not. Choose whatever works for you. After all it’s you who creates your journey ,so you choose what makes you enjoy that journey the most.
Have a fantabulous, funtastic  weekend – I’m off to go and run around with swords and play vikings with Mr T and friends!

Screenshot 2017-03-17 at 18.29.55.png

 

Turn your Monday frown upside down in three inspiring and hilarious steps!

Mondays uggh! Some days you just get out of  the wrong side of the bed. Today I had it on overload. At 3 minutes to 8am I was done. Even after spending time going through my gratitude list and my positive affirmations 3 secs later something new just annoyed me. Nothing seemed to be shifting my irritable negative cloud. I could have quite happily returned to my bed and slept until the weekend – you know the scenario.

So I started to think about what could make me feel better, what can you do to turn around a monday frown upside down when all the odds are against you? The universe kindly responded by showing me and now as I am sitting here writing to you I am buzzing with energy and dancing along to Don’t Worry Be Happy! (Surreal to think if I had heard this song this morning it would have bugged the heck out of me). So what’s the secret? It’s really simple and easy to follow. If you want to turn you Monday frown upside down and enjoy the rest of your day in spite of getting out of bed on the wrong side follow my three simple steps kindly taught to me today by the universe.

Open up and breath

I know this is the tough part. The last thing you want to do when you are annoyed or irritated is to stop being annoyed (humans, such weird creatures we are). However  if you want to feel happier you need to take charge internally and open yourself up to the possibility of shifting your mood.  And one of the easiest ways of doing this is power  meditating.

I have tried a lot of meditation and always struggled with it however power meditating is the most simple  and shortest meditation/affirmation technique of them all! The concept is simple. Just as a quick power nap freshens the body a quick power  meditation freshens the soul – I found this technique here at Mind Body Green (however the name is from yours truly).

Basically you focus on your breath and breath deeply into your belly allowing it to relax and become soft. Then begin internally repeating to yourself, “Breathing In, I calm myself. Breathing out, I smile.” And you keep doing this until you find you begin to smile. The corners of your mouth start twitching and as you smile you feel better and open for an improvement in your day.

Be creative and release your inner creative child

Children get the better deal. Hours of playtime, oh don’t you miss it. Especially the hours we all spent with paint brush or crayon in hand creating scribbly, wibbly stick men masterpieces to be lovingly displayed on Mum’s fridge. On a crappy day allowing yourself the freedom to doodle, draw and paint the way you did all those years ago (not so long ago for some of you) is absolutely the best medicine.

Why? Because creativity clears the mind. It craves focus which prevents you from being caught up with negative or stressful thoughts. The other equally important part of creating in childhood is that it involves interacting with colour. Colour is all around us but unless we have been lucky enough to follow a creative career path we often stop interacting with it in our adulthood. Colour impacts our moods, our feelings and our behaviours. Best of all our interpretation of colour is completely utterly personal, No-one in the world experiences and reacts to the different colours in exactly the way you do. Stands to reason that interacting with colour liberates us unconsciously.

Step two is simple – Be Creative. However I don’t want you just to be creative, to get rid of your bad mood. I want you to be as creative in a childish way. Small children don’t care. If they make a picture they love it, because they enjoyed making it. They have freedom to express their creative potential because they don’t compare themselves and their abilities with everyone else’s. Something we have all forgotten how to do.

Now I don’t mean you should regress completely and allow your inner child to take over your workplace. However an hour of childish artistic freedom works wonders on any black cloud day. I was lucky today. I got a few hours to paint and stick and glue, in an art class (the wonderful perks of studying human development means you get these kind of opportunities). However if you are at work I get that it can be challenging to suddenly get the crayons out and begin to make stick figure drawings. Luckily the recent fad for mindfulness colouring books and zentangling has made grownup colouring much more socially acceptable, plus it is a great way to be creative without having to initiate the process of the drawing. The first chance you get today grab some paper, draw or make some time to colour. Don’t get caught up in being artistically perfect, get caught up in the experience of playing with colour and the freedom of creating. No matter what it is you make, your inner child will think it is wonderful and if you end up smiling who the heck cares what you drew! (And if you really don’t want to be artistic on paper, another easy and fun way to be creative and interact with colour is Lego. I am serious. And the bonus is that there is always some small child in the world very happy to take it off your hands when you have done the making).

Be stupid and play

Do something stupid. I don’t mean stupid in the buy 100 lotto tickets way, I mean stupid the way you did when you were small. Play. We as adults are incredibly self conscious and caught up in what other people think of us. Getting out of our stuff and doing ‘something daft’ (as my mum would say) is not just a liberating experience for us but for everyone around us. The important factor here is to make sure whatever you do is physical and has absolutely in no way at all a connection to your adult life (which means going to the gym does not count).

Start a paper aeroplane competition, have a pillow fight, jump in puddles.If you dare

Miranda.jpg

Miranda daring to be daft !

go bigger and follow the wonderful example of Miranda Hart in the BBC series “Miranda” who makes the enjoyment of living alone an art form. The picture says it all…

 

If at all possible do something daft with friends, it makes you laugh more. Today in my second class of the day I was to be found wearing a giant rabbit costume whilst we reenacted a nursery rhyme dance as part of a demonstration of a cognitive and creative development activity for children (again the opportunities of studying human development).

The unexpected byproduct of this experience was the  liberating effect on the adults taking part. Suddenly dressed as fairy tale characters and dancing around playing a game each of the adults came out of their shells. It was a sight to behold.

However as you may have hidden your Buzz Lightyear costume in the darkest recesses of your loft I recommend instead of watching the news tonight getting out the Twister. Nothing lifts the mood like entangling yourself in an impossible position and howling with laughter.

And if nothing else there is always the option of dancing around like a ninny in the kitchen to your favourite music.

————————————————————————–

You may notice that the universe today provided me with an experience of childhood which I am recommending to you. To be honest returning to a child’s world perspective, getting out of yourself, ignoring your adult mental constrictions and having a few hours playing and creating, reminds you why life is worth living and it makes sense. Try it (even if you think it sounds bonkers) you will see what I mean.

Combine the acts of breathing, creating and being stupid and I guarantee you that your Monday (or any day of the week) frown cannot possibly remain.

Life is our own adventure so choose to make yours a fun one!

 Have a fantastic week , got to dash I’m off to have a disco in my kitchen (Cue Abba “I am the dancing queen …..”)  

Happy Monday 🙂

3895993-turn-that-frown-upside-down

 

 

#lifelessons101 – Sometimes doing what you don’t want to do is exactly what you need and comes with unexpected bonuses (2 min read)

 

Sometimes doing what you don’t want to do is exactly what you need to do. I know when talking about life or personal development we talk about making informed, positive choices. Facing situations with positivity. Sending out the right vibrations. And yes all of these things have value. However there are sometimes in life where you just have to do the things you are unwilling to do. It (at the start)sucks but in the end it brings you the bigger rewards.

 

Take last weekend for example. I was at a “viking” fighting training weekend (yes when I am not running around with a wand playing Tonks, you can often find me running around with a metal replica sword, bashing and being bashed by my friends. Yep I  am a viking re- enactor. I love to fight with r a system known as  western style. It’s on one hand similar to tag with weapons and a lot of historical background! On the other it’s an amazing international and ever evolving sport.) Now in this sport I am not the best, not by a long shot; and typically when participating in training weekend workshops I often have had a tendency to hide away and not fight with the technically clever, aka the people who are blooming good and are probably going to win every fight we have. Basically I would (previously) get into my stuff and limit myself by trying to protect myself from feeling rubbish about my lack of abilities by using one or another excuse to get out of the fights with said people.

 

I know, I know a low self belief spawned, self created situation/drama.

 

And one of which I was completely  unaware of until last weekend when I found myself at a workshop (which I had chosen due to personal interest in the subject)in the company of some the best fighters I know. So I didn’t have a choice. I had to spar with them. I was simply forced into doing something I normally wouldn’t choose to do. And what did I gain? Well I gained a hell of alot. Firstly I realised this whole self limiting and self creating behaviour drama cycle thing I didn’t notice I was doing. And once I got out of my reacting mindset and into my responding humble mindset I learnt more. I even realised how I learn best (which by the way is agonisingly slow, when it comes to doing things with my own body, it’s an Aspergers co-ordination thing). From sparring with those guys, letting down my guard, I learnt so much more because their ability stretched mine and wow do I feel grateful to them and to myself for allowing this learning.

 

And the benefits of doing something I didn’t want to do didn’t stop there.

 

By day two of the training weekend I was at yet another workshop surrounded by much more able people (some of who I would consider to be the best in this sport, this time with a humdinger of a hangover). However now I was aware of it I chose the what the fuck I am doing it anyway even when I don’t want to attitude. Instead of shying away from the harder fights  (in my head) I choose them and by the end of the weekend I had learnt more in two days than I have in two years of fighting. It was exhilarating!

 

Doing exactly the opposite of what I wanted to do actually freed me from my mental constraints and opened up possibilities for me that weekend. But could that be a one off event? Nope. Being as I like to experiment. I have applied this theory all week. Even today after a week of being home sick (turns out it wasn’t just a hangover I was also sick) I had to return to school, something I really, really did not want to do. And yet it turned out to be exhilarating. The welcome, the learning, the shared jokes. Even when having to point out my opinion against everyone else’s (something I don’t find difficult in English but hate to do in another language). Once again Doing the exact opposite of what my instincts were telling me I wanted to do freed me leaving me open to new experiences. Wow.

 

Now I understand you maybe thinking “I thought I am supposed to respond to my instincts so how can doing the what I don’t want to do fit that picture?” Well asked grasshopper. From what I have learned in the last 7 days, it’s about trying it out. Our brains and especially our unconscious can be very devious. It sends out all kinds of messages and a lot of them contradict each other, making following our instincts very difficult. Ultimately I have found if there is something you really don’t want to do but dare to do it anyway you will often find that it was actually something you wanted to do, you just hadn’t realised it. The making yourself do it was just the kick up the bum you needed to get going.

 

The key to gaining the most from the experience is to (as always) remain open. If you are closed you will only ever endure the drama of doing what it is you didn’t want to do and how awful that was for you. Remain open to the possibilities presented to you when doing something you really didn’t want to do and you will be pleasantly if not overwhelmingly surprised by the benefits.  The choice is yours, its how you choose to experience it.

 

So next time life presents you with something you really don’t want to do – do it * Open your mind and try. The way I see things, any experience in life is a good thing if we learn something from it. Because by learning we grow. So open your mind and dive in. Whether it is facing your hardest opponent, returning to work after being ill or even going to a gig on your own, no matter what it is, by doing that thing you least want to do you will find wealth of learning, possibilities and experiences that you could never have found if you stayed in your comfort zone.

 

So whenever you get the chance break out of yourself, kick your own butt  and choose to do the thing you don’t want to do. You never know what adventure you may start ….

 

Enjoy the journey ❤

Screenshot 2017-03-10 at 20.32.39.png

 

(*With of course taking into consideration that your and other people’s safety will not be jeopardised. Always ce careful of you and other people)  

#Lifelessons101 – Arrgh! I’m surrounded by idiots – 3 emotionally intelligent ways to deal with the most annoying of people (3 min read)

 

You know life sometimes just seems to be filled with annoying people. Everywhere you go you meet someone who is irritating or unnecessarily stupid or even worse you meet someone and it is hate at first sight. Meeting annoying people or even someone who you instantly dislike is unfortunately something we have all experienced. (If you haven’t I commend you fine person please write in the comments how you do it because we mere mortals will be happy to learn your secrets.) It’s like that person in someway shape or form manages to get under your skin, irritate every possible nerve, conscious and unconscious thought. And why? Why do we have times where we meet people like this? Well it would be very easy to say the world is full of idiots and that’s that. However we all know deep down inside that’s just not true.

 

Whenever we feel a strong emotion (especially when it comes right out of the blue) it is the universe jumping up and down with a message for us. (Note to self: it must be friday because in my mind there is now a picture of the universe jumping up and down wearing heavy wooden clogs and screaming “Notice me!”. Next note to self: you are rambling. My apologies.) So what is the message that the universe sending you when you seem to be surrounded by halfwits and people that get under your skin?

 

This week the universe has been sending me irritating people and annoying situations by proxy. I have spent most of the week observing other people’s interactions going horribly wrong so much so that  I was becoming totally overloaded and also starting to be drawn into the drama. Until yesterday someone had a conflict and in helping them I reminded myself of three life pearls of wisdom regarding why other people can annoy us so much. In remembering these pearls I was able to step back from the drama around me and use this universal message to learn more about myself, grow a little and enrich my life’s journey. Now who would have thought that from being surrounded by idiots eh!?

 

So here are three easy things to remember that will help you in any situation, with any annoying person. The trick is remembering them and applying them.

They remind you of you

Whaaaaaaat ! ( I can hear you from here). Yes it’s true. Whether its the annoyingly slow person serving at the counter or that person you absolutely hate, the reason they annoy yo is because they remind you of you. But not the good part of you. They remind you of a bit of you that you don’t like. Especially with hate at first sight.

Have a look at the person you dislike or are most annoyed by and mentally describe that person and compare them to you. For example the bossy domineering, controlling person in your workplace is actually you when you are stressed and trying desperately to hold things together by bossing other people about.

This exercise is not easy but it is INCREDIBLY enlightening. It can identify hidden fears, negative self narratives or unresolved issues and by uncovering these unciousous things we become soo powerful.

It’s their stuff

Let’s face it one of the most irritating thing another person  can do is react negatively towards you. A tone of voice or a facial expression can be the catalyst for a personal feud lasting generations or (on a slightly more realistic level) a sense of irritation and frustration that follows you round annoying you for the rest of the day. Now wouldn’t it be great to be able to let go of that. You can. Basically you have to realise that it’s the other person’s stuff. Whatever the reason they reacted it is based on something in them, their personal world. It’s not your stuff it’s theirs. So let it go. We have enough of our own emotional baggage to deal with without carrying someone else’s.  

Remembering that it’s not your stuff not only releases you from your personal dramas it also has the added bonus of freeing you up to handle the other person differently which will make whatever the situation is better.

You can only work on yourself

The two realisations above can lead you to some very important personal reflection and growth. It is important to realise when it comes to other people you are not in control. You cannot help them to have the above realizations and respond to you and themselves in an emotionally intelligent way, that’s up to them. (Well you can ofc share my articles with them! However they might not have the same impact on someone else as they do with you).

What you do have control over is you. You can control how you respond to a situation. You have a choice. And it’s your choices that make that interaction with another person positive or negative. Now I hated the person who first told me this (for about 3 mins). However it’s a fact. We have the power in us to react or respond. To live in a world of instincts or to take control and look deeper within to understand and grow.

 

————————————————————————-

When you use these thought processes in practice it frees you up to a whole new world of interactions with other people as well as a new level of self awareness and emotional intelligence. Try them out this weekend and make a mental note of how much happier you are to be around people that would normally drive you crazy, The world is only full of idiots when you’re stupid enough to allow it to be! It’s your life, your choice, so make the best choices for you ❤

 

their-karma-your-karma

 

#lifelessons101- 4 things to help you back on the personal development horse (3 min read)

When you start out on a new personal development regime everything goes buzzing along in a cloud of motivation and positivity, that is until you fall off the horse. Motivation levels go down and it often seems easier to give up and fall back into the old familiar habits we know and feel comfortable in. The irony is that when we are at this point it is one of the most important stages of our personal development journey. If of course we can just keep a view on the bigger picture, block out our negative inner dialogue and keep going the breakthrough comes and it’s worth it. Hurrah!

I know. It’s not that easy right.

In fact not easy at all.  And I know this all too well. This week in particular for me has been a tough one. After a short pear shaped period in my life I have been attempting to get back into my personal development routines again and pick up the good habits I had before. Should have been straightforward. I did it before I can do it again! Right ? Well yes and then no.

The challenge has been it’s just not that easy to get the same focus and drive I had before.  

Those of you that also follow the path of development know this too well. Falling off the personal development horse happens to us all. Getting on the horse again is not easy and staying on it after a fall can at first seem impossible. Added to which if you have an internal dialogue like mine (who loves to put me down) it can be fodder to add to your I can’t stick at anything, I am useless, worms, worms, worms personal narrative.  

It’s a vicious cycle and can if allowed hold you down forever, if you want it too. I don’t want it too. So I turned to my second favourite library of reference, me (the first is always a combination of Google and Mr T); and sifted through my files of life experience to figure out how to boost my motivation and let me get to the place of my next break through.

Guess what I found??  It is so much  easier than I thought  to get back on the personal development horse and ride into the future without superhuman strength. It was just a question of changing my mental approach to the process and applying these for A star guidelines. 

The 4 A star guidelines to getting back on the personal development horse:

Acceptance:

Sounds like a cliche right? However it’s not. If you don’t accept things as they are you cannot move forward because you are coming from a place of untruth. In accepting you also forgive.

You have to accept three things:

1: You fell off the horse (probably for a good reason if you analyse  it and look for the teachings) people do. But you are not going to be able to move forward if you don’t forgive yourself for that.

2: You are not unflawed. Every human is a perfect imperfection including you. If you look at two of my personal heros personal development heros Lousie Hay and Hal Elrod both of their stories tell very honestly about a human experience of growth. Both of them are perfect imperfections who are constantly working on improving their imperfections in the best way they can. None of us can do any more than our best. Have a look at your heros and role models I bet you will see that they too are just as frail and as human as you. If personal development gurus can be flawed so can you so stop beating yourself up for it.

3: It is gonna be tougher second time round because you will unconsciously compare your results to the first time you tried a routine change. This comparison is just your minds way of fighting the  changes you are trying to make because it likes to be in its comfort zone, it’s probably why you fell off in the first place.

Attention:

“Constant vigilance!” as  Professor Moody used to say (from HArry Potter. Yes I am a potter fan and a personal development junkie!). What do I mean by that. I mean pay attention to what is going on with you. If you get excuses popping up then notice them and try and work out why your mind is fighting against you. For example if you keep pushing your affirmation ritual away because you are too tired or too busy, or hit the snooze button instead of jumping out of bed to do you Miracle Morning routine then sit down with pen and paper to ask yourself why?  Why aren’t you doing it? Then find a way to work through your block instead of succumbing to it. Google is a wonderful tool here, ask and you will find inspiration if you can’t figure out how to work with your block alone. (99% of the time it is as said above your internal unconscious self rebelling because you are outside its comfort zone. In time you will feel better with the changes, you just need to keep going until your new habits become comfortable.) 

Acknowledgement:

As I always say one of the most important things you can do to motivate yourself is to acknowledge your achievements. I cannot stress how important this is. We often when ‘working’ with ourselves forget to notice and be proud of our progress and efforts. Of course the reward of personal development are the bonuses of our positive personal growth. But if you don’t take the time out to notice and acknowledge the journey you are taking and  your accomplishments, then you can get demotivated again. Make an achievement list where you list what you proud of yourself for having achieved once a week. Or if you prefer a gratitude list that focuses  on gratitude to yourself for what you have been doing to make life better for you.

Allies:

Allies is just another word for friends or people, or even strangers in the form of authors or online communities, who you can call on for help in your commitment to getting back on the personal development horse. It can be hard as hell to make life changes alone so call in your team. Right now I am finding myself surrounded by people who like to make excuses for themselves rather than take responsibility (unfortunately moving into a completely new area can have this effect). At first I found this draining and allowed it to affect me but once I realized it I have now started to call into my life people who also are dedicated to growing positively in both my friendship circle and through reading and watching personal development videos that inspire me.  It helps me keep focused and reminds me I am not alone. Writing this blog and having you guys read it helps amazingly too because when you read and like my articles I know that we are all out there working on ourselves to become better people in our way and that is immensely inspiring. For which I am truly grateful to you all lovely readers. So reach out to the universe and create the allies you need to keep you on that horse and keep going. We can achieve far more together than we ever can alone.

————————————————————————–

Remember wherever you are in your personal development process that the times that seem the hardest are always before the enlightening positive breakthroughs. So keep on going. So what if you fell off the horse, you got back on it and you are moving forward. And by accepting that, paying attention to yourself, acknowledging your progress and calling in your allies you will keep on riding that horse  onwards growing more and more grounded, beautiful, abundant and successful every single day.

I believe in you  all ❤dream-it-do-it

Making New Year’s resolutions that are easy to keep! – Time to get started! (2 min read)

This is the last part of a series of guides to help you make New Year’s resolutions that you can keep throughout the whole year. Don’t worry if you haven’t been following up until now. New Year’s resolutions can be made throughout the new year. Personally I prefer to do it as the land turns from Winter to Spring so that my journey follows nature’s cycle around me. However if you want to follow this guide you need to go and have a look at the part one (identifying your goals), part two (setting your goals) and part three (Making your plan) of this system otherwise it simply won’t make sense.

If you have been following the system you should by now have got your vision clear and made a plan for each goal. After all this fantastic work you are now absolutely clear on what you are going to do and how you are going to do it. So what’s left? Actually not much. However there is one last thing that is vitally important. Preparation. Any good plan is carried out best when you prepare.

Don’t worry you don’t have to prepare for every goal at once. It would be too unrealistic and set you up for a fail. Take a look at your plans. One of these goals is going to be something that you really need to do right away. It might be the one you are really inspired to do. Choose that. Look over your plan and decide how to prepare.

One of my goals is to improve my lifestyle and focus on my holistic health. In a nutshell I want to do more yoga and eat healthy. And as we all know this is not as simple as it sounds- So I have been making preparations. This weekend I researched some yummy looking healthy snacks (snacking is my thing ever since I quit smoking) and I’ve been finding out how much time I have to exercise. So slowly I am starting to make preparations.

The important thing here is to go slowly and remember baby steps. This week I am going to start exercising 5 mins a day and have salad every day., oh and this weekend I have eaten all the junk food in the house . Maybe counterproductive but it means temptation is gone.  It may seem strange to start with such a little commitment in the beginning however with doing 5 mins a day it gets me into a habit that will grow each week until I have reached my daily exercising to my goal target. Little by little my life is going to improve and change.

This last month the thought processes you have been through have laid the foundations , the roots of a path of growth you start this year towards your dreams your life changes. Because of this groundwork you and your life will continue to evolve into the life you have imagined for yourself.

So identify the preparations you need to make and get going!

tomorrow belongs.png

Making New Year’s resolutions that are easy to keep! – Making your plan (4 min read)

This is the third part of a series of guides to help you make New Year’s resolutions that you can keep throughout the whole year. Don’t worry if you haven’t been following up until now. New Year’s resolutions can be made throughout the new year. Personally I prefer to do it as the land turns from Winter to Spring so that my journey follows nature’s cycle around me. However if you want to follow this guide you need to go and have a look at the part one (Get inspired) and part two (Creating the vision) of this series, otherwise what you are about to read simply won’t make sense.

To those of you who have been following the steps you are hopefully raring to start working on your dreams and goals for this year and after this last week you will have a crystal clear vision of the changes you wish to make.

Holding the vision is important and will make your dreams easier to manifest. However a vision is not enough. If you don’t know what you need to work on and how to do that then you vision remains a dream, a nice picture in your mind and an unfulfilled goal.  So what next? How can you make your vision become a reality. The answer is really, really simple. Make a plan.

You may have heard the 5 P’s Proper Planning Prevents Poor Performance. Now I do in part agree with this, on the other hand I find it a stressful and demanding. In my book proper planning gets stuff done.

But what do I mean by planning? There are many ways to do this. The simplest I have found is to take each goal and define the steps you have to take to create this. This week you have two steps to follow.  Give yourself good time to think this through and record your ideas. This is the foundation, the roots of the work you will be fullfill this year. Make strong roots adn you will have a strong plant. If you make a strong plan you will have better results.

Make a plan

Now say for example your goal this year is to travel a country for three months. In this case you have some very clear decisions to make and steps to follow.

Choose which country you want to go to

  1. Research the ways you wish to travel, hotels, youth hostels, work away and what you want to see.
  2. Research the cost of your trip.
  3. Save money.
  4. Book time off work.
  5. Book your holiday
  6. Go.

In this case it’s very simple. You can even set target dates on each of the steps. But what if your goal is not a clear to create for example to improve your self confidence.  In this case you need to do a lot of background thinking to achieve this goal. Also you have to be realistic. Can you do this in one year? Or will you have to spread this over a few years? In which case what do you want to achieve in this year? With goals such as this you can still make a plan in the same way as for travel. You just need to think it through more. One of my life coaching clients made this plan for improving one part of her self confidence over one year, by focusing on self love.

  1. Identify what it is I don’t like about myself.
  2. Talk about this with my life coach.
  3. Find a strategy for each issue with my life coach.
  4. Begin one strategy each month.
  5. Write a gratitude list every morning or evening.
  6. Use a self love affirmation every morning in the mirror while I brush my hair.

One year one my client is more confident and happier within herself. Together we have identified and implemented 3 strategies in her life to improve her relationship with herself. Her self confidence isn’t completely in place, however it is beginning to be less of a hinderance in her daily life and her life quality is improving.

The steps to take are easy when making your plan.

  • Choose one goal.
  • Clearly define it.
  • Write a list of the steps you need to take in order to achieve your goal.
  • Set a start date.
  • Set a completion date
  • Do the same with all of your goals.

Evaluate and adapt your goals:

Making a plan is also a great way to evaluate your goals and dreams for this year. Are they realistic. When you break it down into bite size chunks and there are too many steps or impossible tasks then you need to redefine your goals.

 

————————————————————————–

Enjoy this process. Make it simple. Make your plans realistic. And remember to make it fun. The whole point for me in life is about enjoying the journey. Life does not have to always be hard work. Keep this in focus as you are planning. After all the resolutions you make and want to keep should be improving your own life quality other wise there is not much point in making them!
Have a fantastic and motivating week. Next week is the last part of this series so tune in again on monday to begin making the changes you dream of in your life and to begin living the life you have dreamt of.

a dream without a plan.jpg

#Lifelessons101 – What to do after a storm hits your life (2 min read)

Storms come quickly, bringing chaos. Life is swimming along at a normal and even comfortable tempo then suddenly from nowhere BAM! Something happens that in a minor or major way uproots your life. And the weatherman didn’t even tell you it was coming.

Yesterday we had a storm hit us. Our landlord dropped by to tell us there would be a  4000kr increase in our rent starting in February. My reaction process started with f……………….k!!!

Amazingly I then went through a series of reactions that by the end of the day I was feeling happy about this challenge and determined to overcome it.

First reaction : survival mode. I looked at the budget, can we pay?(We could but only just from now on until we generate more income we are living the way I hate counting every kroner and have no opportunity to save).

Second reaction: shock. I cried. A lot. I talked my frustration out (in a snotty and garbled way). Mr T was wonderful and comforting he tried to get me to say it would be ok. But right at that moment  I couldn’t. I was overwhelmed so I cried until I could cry no more. It was cathartic and released me from the drama of my fears.

Third reaction: Success experience. I knew I couldn’t do anything more about the problem right then and there. What I needed was a success experience. So I did the washing. Something small but easy to do (well it would have been if the cat hadn’t removed the waterpipe and therefore also flooded the bathroom! However I cleaned it all up and solved that problem so ha ha success!) For the rest of the day I gave myself small manageable tasks that made me feel successful.

Fourth reaction: Finding the positive. As I spent the day making small achievements, I realised that this financial pressure was actually a blessing in disguise. Life has been very comfortable of late, too comfortable. Not that I am saying being comfortable is wrong. My experience has simply been that comfortable without a little challenge makes boredom.As soon as this was realised my energy shifted. Now I could see we have been given an opportunity.

Fifth reaction: Energised and determined. Having proved to myself I can succeed all day, and after brainstorming, I could now see that the things I had been thinking of doing to increase our income and not yet done I now have an immediate motivation for. A kick up the butt to get my plans and dreams realised. Suddenly I am raring to go!

So who knew that a rent increase would actually be an inspiration and motivational factor!

Of course it might not have been. If I had chosen to sit down and stay at reaction number one, then this storm could have been crippling both mentally and financially.  Storms are crap. We all know that. We have all been there. But the important thing about the storms that hit us is not how we are hit, but how we survive afterwards. Storms bring change and peace after them if we choose to respond in a healthy way. Next time a storm  hits, slowly and in your own time try these five steps and you will turn your problems into opportunities.

Survival mode: Batten down the hatches and do the minimal things you need to do to survive.

Shock: Allow your emotions to come out. Do Not repress them. Allow yourself to get to the emotional state where you feel like a wrung out dishcloth. It empties the sadness, frustration and anger out of you.

Success experiences: Do some very simple things that you can succeed at. Wash the dishes. Do the washing. Feed the dog. Nothing you have to think about, just something you can do. MAke yourself do this. It’s actually the most important step as it transitions you to a positive space.

Find the positive: How? Look for it. There is always a positive side. A lover leaving does allow you to do things you didn’t do because of the relationship. A broken washing machine brings with it the opportunity to really deep clean the bathroom which you have been putting off for months. What opportunity did this storm bring?

Energised and determined. Find ways to overcome the challenge life has thrown at you. You don’t have to start then and there (unless you want to). Look at the opportunity this challenge has brought you and work towards to achieving whatever it is that opportunity brings you.

————————————————————————-

This process took me one day unfortunately (or fortunately) I have had a lot of practise. It might take you longer. You may need two days in shock and a week of small successful experiences before you can find the opportunities. You will find them when you look. The way you respond to a storm creates the next step in your journey, only you can decide how that journey will be. 

 

tumblr_lk9dmddsFA1qbj1sio1_500.jpg