#lifelessons101 – Why people are draining you and how to stop it happening (3 min read)

 

It’s friday night, there is glorious sunshine out of my window, the wind is blowing and the garden is calling yet tonight I am simply too shattered to go out and play. I am tired. Not just physically but mentally. I am people tired.

As a life coach, and also in my private life, I work with people everyday and I love that. I love helping and giving help to self help, I love to help people grow and I love learning from the people I help and getting the opportunity to grow myself.  However sometimes I get exhausted by it. Sometimes I just get tired of people and I also get people tired. I know those sound similar they are not, bear with me I will explain. Getting tired of people is where you simply get fed of human interaction games until it exhausts. Getting people tired is where you feel drained by other people through helping too much.

The challenge is that getting tired of people and people tired is not something we usually talk about it polite society. Certainly not in inclusive Scandinavia where doing everything together is the way life is. YET we all have times where we feel like this. AND the teaching of being tired of people or of being people tired is actually a really important message for us if we choose to listen instead of being into the drama that people are just blooming annoying /stupid/insert adjective of choice, and why won’t they sort blah blah out, and why do they leave it to you and blah, blah, blah.

We just need to look for the teachings. And when you do you will find that the teachings of being tired of people and people tired are different ,yet also both have an initial underlying message. The underlying message is simple. It is that something is not right for you in the relationships you have and the interactions you having with other people. Both of these feelings are your spirits way of say “HELLO. Something ain’t in balance. Take notice!”

And the way to take notice (or the what to do about it) is defined by the individual teachings of being tired of people and people tired. I have noticed a few and these are below with a few suggestions for healing solutions. Maybe you have noticed other teachings if you have please share them in the comments below then we can all support each others learning journey.

Being tired of people:

Everyone you met is annoying and usually in the same way. I have found this can mean two thingsTEACHING: You are surrounding yourself with the wrong type of people. Your body, well more accurately your soul, is crying out to say I need to grow in a different way, these people don’t support that growth, find me people that support the growth I need.

HEALING SOLUTION: Soul search, identify what you need and call in the right people. You don’t need to cut other people off, just set the intention the the right people will turn up and distance yourself discreetly from the people that are reflecting attitudes or growth that you don’t need. If you can figure out what exactly it is that is bugging you about the people in your life it will give you a pretty clear idea of the change and growth you need .

TEACHING: The people in our lives mirror us. Which means the people bugging you are reflecting something about you, a habit that you have that you dislike and need to face in order to feel complete.

HEALING SOLUTION: Find out what it is and work with it. You can if you want to get to know the person that is bugging you, this does often give you deeper understanding of why they are the way they are and why you are the way you are. If you really dare (and I do know this is tough I have dared and also chosen not to) tell them you that they are bugging you because of X, Y and Z and that you realise this is something about your personality you dislike and that you wish to work with and begin a healing dialogue with them.

Being people tired.

People tired can be defined as never having time for yourself and yet help everyone else. I do this ALOT.

TEACHING: You are giving more than you can give you need to save energy for you and your life too.

HEALING SOLUTION:  Check in with yourself and set boundaries. Count to ten before saying yes or offering help make sure you have the resources for everything you need to do before trying to fix someone else’s life. After all if you are broken it won’t help them will it. If you feel bad you can always suggest a solution that doesn’t involve you and you find that you have helped.

TEACHING: You are putting off dealing with something in your own life by fixing someone else. after we all know how easy it is to fix everyone else’s lives rather than our own.

HEALING SOLUTION: Stop. Check in with you. What is it you have been putting off by helping everyone else? Do it. Eat that frog (not a real one, a metaphorical one …honestly! She says shaking her head.) Do thing thing you don’t want to do for you and once it is over you will feel better, Than you can help all and sundry,

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The moral of this tale is if you are feeling people tired or tired of people check in with you. In whatever extreme emotion situation you find yourself in life there will always always be a teaching you just need to look for it. And if you check in with you and fix your stuff you will be in a much better place to serve and enjoy the wonderful people in your life.

Have a restful and happy weekend ❤

 

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How to create your positive life? Take action and create your hour of power! :Part one The Miracle morning (3 min read)

Thinking positively creates a positive  life. Taking positive action creates a positive life. Imagine what you can do when you combine the two!

Simply said Positive actions + Positive thoughts   =  A Positive life  

I know put like that it sounds easy and yet I can already hear your resistance from here. Changing our thought patterns takes effort however it is easy to slot into our lives. It takes conscious thought however we can work positive thought into our schedule without too much hassle. (And for advice on this check out how to create new beliefs or how to communicate positively or even take the laughter challenge!) However taking positive action means making changes to our everyday and boy do we all like to resist that stretching of our comfort zone. The challenge is that without the positive action our thoughts remain inside us. As effective as the power of positive thought is , we need to do things in the physical as well as the mental arenas of our lives to really make lasting, effective and magnificent change.

It’s basically our choice. We can take action to create the lives we want. AND it doesn’t need to be as difficult as we imagine to do that.  Actually it’s really easy once we make the choice to act. And the bonus is that once we start it’s easier to do more and more that is good for us and sooner or later you find that you are actually living the life you dreamed of.

Yes! I can hear you now raring to go and wanting the easy guide. Well in my experience it’s all to do with your hour of power.  Now in actual fact your hour doesn’t need to be an hour 30 – 60 mins of your day dedicated to positive actions can initiate the transition from you life now to the life you want. The idea is as I said, simple. You create everyday 30 – 60 mins that is for you. You time. Now I don’t mean the sitting on the sofa when the kids are in bed drinking wine kind of you time. I mean the energising, life boosting opportunity for personal growth kind of you time.

Imagine 30 mins – 60 mins of a day where you can just concentrate on you. Your dreams. Your life. Yourself. It’s an amazingly powerful thought and an amazingly powerful reality.

There is one catch. Although not a big one. In order to give yourself this experience you will have to change your habits. Preferably your morning habits. The first hour of your day is actually the most important. It is where you set up the mood, motivation and outlook for your entire day. Imagine for a moment that instead of bashing the alarm clock and roll over, you growl at the alarm slightly, stretch out, turn off the alarm, make a cup of whatever you fancy in the morning, wash your face, brush your teeth and then slightly less sleepily wander into whatever space that is yours and private for 30 to 60 mins and at the end of that time you are buzzing with energy, understanding and motivation. Raring to go for the day. And most of all happy. Now how is that for an idea?

This actually how I start my day. And it’s amazing. I love it. No matter how tired I am when I start  my hour of power I am addicted and hate not to do it. Why?  Because I feel so great after it! It sets me up for the day. It is my me time, my inspiration. And no I am not a natural morning person. Heck no! I was always a night owl.  Until the day I put working with the law of attraction on my vision board. That week I got introduced to my favourite of personal development tools The (life changing) Miracle Morning created by Hal Elrod.  In a nutshell the Miracle Morning concept is simple. Each day you wake up and spend the first 30 – 60 minutes doing activities to stimulate you personal growth, motivate you for the day and in essence gradually transform your life. Hal Elrod has combined 6 of the most powerful and successful morning activities carried out by the world’s most successful people into an easily accessible and flexible system. So every morning I do 5 to 10 minutes of my six “S.A.V.E.R.S” activities. These are silence (meditation), affirmations, visualisation, exercise, reading and scribing (journalling). (Actually my miracle morning is in the order E.R.S.S.V.A it just doesn’t look as good when written down!)

When I started The Miracle Morning I did five minutes of each and the results I got were amazing. Then my life changed a little and I found that I was unable to do it everyday. And you know what I missed the buzz that my Miracle Morning gave me. I missed it so much that I chose to get up an hour earlier every possible day to just to make my miracle morning time. I get up at 5 am Monday to Friday. I mean I used to go to bed at that time now I am up and doing yoga! Well except on weekends. On weekends I wake up and then I do it no matter the time. My house knows to leave me to it and gives me the space. I think mostly because they prefer the miracle morning me to the pre-me, who bit off anyone’s head if they irritated me before one coffee and two cigarettes. (I now have neither in the mornings.) The transformation is astounding. I have shocked myself. (And my Mum who can not get over the fact her daughter now gets up so early!) And it is infectious and additive. Even Mr T gets up and does his hour of power every day (although his involves all exercise- each to their own). The more I start my day in this positive way, the more motivated I am to keep my day going in the same direction And bit by bit my life is transforming.  Now If course The Miracle Morning isn’t the only reason my life is getting better, I am taking positive action wherever I can and whenever I am inspired. However my miracle morning really is my hour of power enabling me to do and achieve things I never thought I would.

It works for me. And thousands of others. I won’t explain it here because there are so mnay places online you can find out about it. Check it out http://www.miraclemorning.com/   or Hal Elrod on YouTube, or alternatively you can buy the book which I truly recommend. However if you don’t decided to try the Miracle Morning system do choose an hour of power for you everyday. I have a friend whose hour of power is on the train journey to work. Another who fits it in flexibly every day at different times depending on her schedule.  The point is simply that if you choose to create time in the day for you, where you dedicate time to your own personal growth and focusing on your dreams, you will be taking the healthiest positive action you can take. By making that commitment to yourself you are committing to creating your dreams and taking control of your life. You become a person consciously and mindfully living. And someone who is actively doing good this  cannot help but create a positive life for themselves. Why? Because when you consciously aim for positive action, your natural state becomes positive. And a person whose natural state is positive is living a positive life.

The math tells the truth 🙂

Positive action + positive thought = positive life

So choose you today. Choose your hour of power. Choose to take action to create a positive, energising and productive happy life. You have everything you need within the power of your own choice…

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#lifelessons101  – Make a lovely start to your weekend by randomly making someone else feel appreciated (2 min read)

In the last two weeks I have had 2 completely out of the blue, completely unexpected messages over social media that have made me feel appreciated and wonderful. Two people who don’t know each other wrote to me independently to say how I made their day better by my positivity and that the impact in their lives of knowing me inspired them. WOW! I mean wow! They had no other reason to tell me just they thought I should know. It meant so much to me. Especially as these people are people who I like very much but, as yet are not in my close inner circle or daily life. It took my breath away, it made me feel so lovely.

In fact it made me feel so great that I thought wouldn’t it be fantastic if everyone could feel this way. We all like to feel good. And we know for a fact that by being appreciated we feel great and by  doing something nice for other people we feel awesome. So why not combine the two?

This weekend let’s make a positive bubble around the world together. It will take you only five minutes. Simply to find someone you know (but not too closely) who inspires you, makes your day better or who you simply admire as a person (not attracted to but admire). When you have chosen write this person a short message over Facebook (or your social media platform of choice). Make it honest and simple. Tell them why you think they are so great, inspiring, lovely and tell them you just thought they ought to know. Don’t ask for anything of them. Just tell them how great they are. The chances are that this person has not a clue of the impact they make in your life and probably needed to hear it. I know I did. And a little compliment can go a long way after a busy working week. Then please share this article on Facebook/twitter/your blog and pass the idea on to your friends and family.

After that go and have a wonderful weekend knowing you have made someone else feel happy.  Sometimes it’s simply nice to be nice

Have a lovely weekend ❤

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6 Easy steps to create new beliefs so you can make the positive happy life you want. (4 min read)

We all want to live a positive and happy life. There are a million and one articles out there telling us how to do this. Eating that food, doing this type of exercise, saying these affirmations. The options for self improvement are as wide and varied as the human race itself. However with all of these proven possibilities out there often people drop their new “way” because it’s not working or creating the results they want to see.

Do you know it? Have you done it? Well I know I have. And boy do I also know the spiral  of guilt that follows afterwards. Luckily for me those days are slowly becoming more and more a part of my distant past. How? Well I found myself the perfect alley to get the the positive and happy life I want. I discovered my brain. You may be thinking what the heck but pause for a moment. Our brains are in control of everything. And you know yourself if in life you want to make significant change it’s best to work with those at the top. And I’ll let you into a fantastic secret about your brain which makes creating the positive happy life you want really easy.

Our brains are stupid.

(Well not at everything of course brains do a fantastic job of keeping us alive and running the complicated system that is the human being. Credit where credit is due).  

However when it comes to creating new beliefs and habits our brains are actually really stupid. It’s to do with our animalistic DNA and how we create memory and belief.  Basically your memories and beliefs are created by the number of repetitions of an event, or stimulus. For example, being told you are great at cooking. If you get told something once it becomes a “short term memory”, however if you get told it 5 or more times it becomes a “long term memory” (Kandel Brain and Mind, 5) or in other words, a new belief. In our example you may feel that you are a better cook than Nigella Lawson. The more you get told something (or stimulated) in the the same way you release “Serotonin” into your body. Serotonin makes you feel happier , well balanced and reduces stress and depression, as well as doing many wonderful things for your body’s well being. In the cooking example  this means every time you step into the kitchen you feel like a cooking guru and are happy and relaxed before you begin.

Repetition creates your brains beliefs. Any repetition. Yes that means unfortunately the same is true with our negative stimuli, such as I can’t cook/run/loose weight. Our brain is all to willing to believe whatever we want to tell it. It is willing to help us believe and when we believe in something it is ten times easier for us to create. So it’s up to us to take charge of what we tell our brains.

Words really do have  so much power when it comes to our brain. The world of marketing uses word and repetitions tricks to make you want to buy things you don’t want or need. (And you know it works because otherwise you wouldn’t have that bizarre health food stuff going out of date in the back of your kitchen cupboard that you bought after seeing it on tv, in the newspaper or on Facebook and still 6 months later you have no idea how to use it or even pronounce its name!) So if the marketeers can do it, so can you! You can use your words to convince your brain of anything. Once your brain is on board you will feel a shift in your energy and no matter what your new routine you are starting, habit you want to cultivate or negative thought pattern you want to turn around, you will succeed.

As Jesse Jackson (A civil rights leader who worked with Martin Luther King ) said

“If my mind can conceive it, and my heart can believe it, I know I can achieve it.”

So here are 6 easy steps for you to get your brain on board and create new beliefs so you can make Jesse Jackson’s words a reality for you and create the positive happy life you want. 

Commit

The first step is the most important. Commit. To whatever it is. Commit to making this positive change  and new belief in your life. Make sure it is something you feel passionate about. If you don’t burn for this change it ain’t gonna happen. Decide exactly what thought you need to believe to make your desired change.

Create an affirmation

The best and simplest way of creating a new belief is by using affirmations. Sentences you repeat to yourself. There are many great affirmations out there you can use (and I do). However I think the best affirmations are the ones we make for ourselves. They are the most authentic. My favourite self created affirmation is still “I am the most powerful me”. Be creative and think big. If you are changing your thoughts make sure you are going for gold. At the same time keep it so that you can believe it.

Begin your affirmations with ‘I am’, “I know…” “I have…” “I love…” and keep them simple. You are going to have to say these a lot so make sure the sentences easy to remember. Remember it is ok if your statements sound a bit false to you at the beginning, affirmations are 100 % faking it until you until make it. Suspend reality in this creative process and go for what you want. You are the most powerful you.

Say it loud and proud

Affirmations work best when said out loud ,basically because they stimulate your senses. So say your affirmations out loud. If you find it challenging you can build up to it. Start by writing them out daily. Then write them out and read them out loud quietly and over time increase the volume until you are at your normal speaking voice. At last just say your affirmations out loud.

Repeat, repeat, repeat

You can hold about 7 statements in your head for about 30 seconds. If you don’t repeat them, the belief in those statements goes away. If you do repeat them, they go into your  “working memory,” for anywhere between 90 to 120 minutes.  If you don’t repeat them then, the information will be lost and won’t necessarily come back. However if you do repeat them then the statements will enter your long-term memory. So do your affirmations throughout the day not just in the mornings or evenings. Go outside for five minutes in your lunch break and say your affirmations. (If you put your phone headphones on and walk people think you are talking on the phone, so don’t worry about what everyone else thinks of you, they are far too  busy with their own lives!) Aim to do your affirmations in the same time slots throughout the day to get the best repetition effects.

Some people say that it takes 14 days,  to learn a new habit, some say 21. Personally I am in the Hal Elrod school of 30 days (See in the book The Miracle Morning). It gives 3 stages of habit forming and the last 10 are the most rewarding. Keep repeating your affirmations minimum of 3 times a day for 30 days. You brain will be supporting you too the absolute max and you will be in the perfect place of belief to create the positive happy life you want really easily.

Remind yourself of your new belief

Use triggers to help you remember your affirmations. I use an idea of Louise Hay’s. Around my home are many small red hearts in places where I see them frequently. By my desk is the same red heart with the affirmation “Life loves me and I am blessed”. Whenever I see a heart I say the affirmation and I know in my heart how lucky I am for my lovely life.

Routines combined with affirmations such as playing certain music or brushing your hair whilst saying your affirmations will form associations which you can use as reminders to keep reinforcing your new beliefs and keep your brain on your side. You can even allow a negative thought to be your trigger. For example every time you see someone with a healthy body and your brain says “I can’t look like that” turn the thought into “ I am working towards having a super healthy body that I love”.  Think of reminders that will work for you into your affirmation routine from day 1 for the best results.

Stay in charge

If you feel when saying your affirmations resistance to believing what you are saying notice it. It could be a teaching. A piece of information that helps you understand your resistance to your life change that you can work with. However if it is just an old negative belief wanting to be heard, let it go. You are the boss of what you think so stay in charge.
Have fun creating your new beliefs this week. You and your brain have everything thing you need to create the positive happy life you want, all you need to do is believe it ❤

 

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#lifelessons101 – Inviting  financial abundance into your house and home (4 min read)

 

We want to be more abundant, it is after all humanity’s Utopian natural state.   Health, wealth and happiness  (not necessarily in that order) is something we all desire.  And if you look at the world’s resources, there is more than enough for everyone so realistically we can all live abundant lives.  Yet in spite of that there is an imbalance in world of 21st century abundance. Some people have abundant lives and others don’t. Especially when it comes to money.

Personally I have had a terrible relationship with money (maybe you can relate). For almost all of my life I have craved abundant finances to go with my abundant life. For years I have been putting my positive vibrations out into the world and focusing on manifesting the abundant finances. And what has happened…………..the exact opposite. It’s not even like I haven’t been working for my abundance. I am dedicated hardworking, yet for a long, long  time nothing has seemed to have shifted. Money always seemed to come along and trip me up.  Sometimes it has felt like money had it in for me. And yet of course it wasn’t. My bad relationship with money was created by me. Not by being dumb with my finances (weeee’llll may be a tiny bit) but mostly by my conscious and unconscious negative associations and attitudes towards money and wealth.

So I have decided here and now in 2017 that my bad relationship with money is in the past and from now on money and I are going to have a glorious future together.  It is time to make friends with money. This is the year where I am going to shift into my natural state of abundance. And I want to take you all along for the journey with me.

This is obviously not a journey that will be overnight (or in one #lifelesson101). We all know how long it takes to get over a bad relationship and make friends with an ex. This is one love affair that is going to take some effort to create. However in this first month I have made some real progress and already I can see a shift, if not physically but energetically in my state of financial abundance. I have spent this month inviting abundance into my house and home and baby step, by baby step, the universe is beginning to respond.  Here’s how I have been doing it….

Writing to money as if it was a person:

On the advice of my mentor I wrote money a letter as though it was a person . I let all of my feelings and frustrations about money gush out and wow was I shocked by the strength, passion and in fact unadulterated hatred that spilled out onto the page.

However it was a really positive experience as for the first time in my life I could really see where my problems with money started and identify what I needed to do. When you know what the problem is you are ten times closer to the solution so I highly recommend do this groundwork.

Forgiveness

If we have had a bad time in any relationship we need to forgive the other person and ourselves if you are to have a positive future together. Well I had (and have) a lot of forgiving to do to rebuild my relationship with money. At the moment I am working with one of my favourite methods of forgiveness the Hawaiian practice of Ho’oponopono. I could write a whole article about this but as Johnathan Davis has already written  a brilliant article I highly recommend you read that after this. (Click here)

Thanking

The practice of gratitude improves every aspect of life, no matter what it is.  I had honestly never thought of thanking money for what it gives me. I started by writing a gratitude list. “I am thankful to money for giving me food, my diabetic medicine, the opportunity to study” so on and so forth. It was exhilarating! It was amazing how much money does for me that I had never really thought about. Try it. Think about everything money gives you, the list is endless.

Continuing  on this practise of being grateful to money for its gifts when I now have a bill to pay I thank the universe for it’s abundance that I have the money to pay it rather than stressing about having another bill. It makes paying bills so much more enjoyable than before!

Invitation into my life and my home.

When we meet someone we want to have a relationship with we at some point invite them into our homes. We make them feel important and welcome and naturally they respond to the invitations we send to them. Now I am starting to feel more comfortable with money I have opened up my house to money and abundance by creating an abundance altar. I highly recommend it. The idea initially was to attract money however as I started to think about what abundance means to me I found that not only did I want to have representations of my finances I also wanted things that represented what makes me feel abundant Now my altar has my business cards, pictures of my family, silver, abundance affirmations, candles I made at one of the goal setting workshops I ran and a bowl containing slips of paper with everything,  everyplace and everyone  written on that makes me feel rich and abundant. Starting next week I intend to take out one of these pieces of paper everyday and that the universe for the abundance it has given me on whatever I have written on that piece of paper.  I’ll let you know how it goes.

A new perspective

As this month has gone on I am noticing more and more that instead of seeing money as this limiting and bossy thing in my life I have begun to view money simply as energy.  Wonderful giving energy. And this my friends is where the shift has really started to happen.

By seeing money as something that gives and viewing it as fluid moving abundance I have freed up a massive part of my consciousness. I am slowly emptying myself of my old negative limiting beliefs about money. as my enemy, which means I now have space in myself to see money as positive energetic expression of the abundance of the universe.

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This process has shown me how abundant and rich my life is. It has motivated me to give more, to think less of myself and think more of how I can help others feel happier, the way I do right now.  One month ago I was coming from a place where I  blamed lack of money as the source of discontent in my life. And now? Now I feel abundant all the time. When the smaller abundances come along I notice and practice gratitude. And the more I do this, the more abindance I attract. I have in fact in this week managed to manifest a pair of scales in 5 mins for only 3 pounds. Desire, thought manifestation. It was honestly that easy. (And an affordable scales in 5 minutes is not an easy manifestation.)

Has my monetary wealth increased in this month. Not yet, well actually a little. However the doubt that I will attract more money to my life is dissapearing. And we already know that when you free space in your mind by removing negative thoughts, patterns and behaviours you leave space for ………………………… well let’s see what enters in the next month. I have a few more strategies I am planning on trying out so check in next month to see how my abundance journey is going

Dedicate an hour and a space in your home to exploring your relationship with money and make an abundance altar. I promise you that you will feel a shift in your outlook . (And please please do post pics below of your abundance altars so we can inspire each other!)

Have a great weekend and remember enjoy the journey!

 

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Spring to life! Inspiration from nature for your own personal Spring growth in 5 steps.

Spring is here! No it is. Really. I know you may not feel it right now looking out of your window at the grey colour of the sky, but it is really here. Look a little longer and deeper at the outside world. And listen. Outside in nature everything has come alive once more. The deep green shoots are pushing through the earth, snow drops, daffodils, crocuses. Colour is returning around us. Birds are flying around us and the air filled with their songs.

You might be thinking “ Yay, woohoo. Spring is here. What the heck does that have to do with with my personal growth and reaching my goals?” Well I’m glad you asked because Spring can actually boost our personal growth, if we choose  to let it.

Let me explain. Right now we are actually at a special point in the solar calendar (Or to use its proper name the Astronomical calendar. For a more in depth explanation click here). It is the time of Spring Equinox. What this basically means is that we here have a short period where day and night are at equal length. It is a point of transition, it could be said between the darker half of the year, Autumn and Winter; and the year’s lighter half, Spring and Summer. After this point in the year this is when nature goes completely ballistic with activity (pretty much until its exact opposite time in the calendar Autumn Equinox). From the flurry of activity preparing the beds in the garden and planting seeds now the first frosts have gone, to the buds that are starting to sprout leaves on the trees and the explosion of birth in the animal kingdom, spring is like nature’s equivalent of our pre christmas  shopping. The game is on! Now we are part of this natural cycle, no matter how far removed our lives seem from it today. Something in our deepest dna gets reawoken during the spring. Instinctively we feel that this is a time of transformation and of new birth.

We used to be really in touch with this  shift in nature’s cycle before we became an industrial society. Today however around Equinox people just tend to feel a little wobbly beforehand and then improve and balance out again afterwards, without noticing or understanding why. (It’s actually very obvious to see if you are working with children, the same as when it’s full moon their energy goes temporarily bananas.)

Once the Equinox is over, and with the added bonus of sunshine; we start to feel friskier, more alive.  So instead of walking around with our head in the proverbial, and in some cases actual smog of modern life. Imagine what you could achieve if you could harness this transformational and vibrant life energy of Spring and applied it to your own life. How different would your life look with a transformation, an energy boost and a surge of inspired activity leading to your own growth?

Very different. And trust me it feels very, very good. In the last 20 years I have been working with nature’s cycles as a guide and tool for my own personal growth and I want to share with you a 5 things you can do to connect with the boost of Spring and re-energise your life. These suggestions are easy and practical to do and will fit into any lifestyle and time frame. You can choose one, a few or all of the below. Do those that inspire you, whatever steps you try you will gain you a fantastic boost of inspiration, whilst reconnecting you with a cycle that humans have been part of since the dawn of humankind.

As its Spring Equinox today why not try the first today and get reconnected with yourself.

Go out for a walk alone

Its simply that. As soon as you can go out for a good hour on your own. Go where it is green. This can be in a woods, in a forest, around the local park and cemetery. Wherever nature is around you. Ignore your phone, Facebook, Twitter, Tinder, emails, sms’s. For this one hour nothing but you and nature exists. (If it helps put some music on.) Use your time to look for signs of the spring returning. Look down at the ground and up at the trees. Smell the earth. Instead of just observing nature, interact with nature. Touch, feel , smell and listen to it. Give yourself the opportunity to awaken your senses and have a sensory experience. Our senses work to engage our attention and help our brain become more alert of our surroundings so when we stimulate them we are actually giving our brain a workout, giving ourselves more focus and intelligence.

Whilst walking allow yourself to think about your life, your goals. Allow inspiration to come and go. I often use nature as the macrocosm to reflect the microcosm of my life. How does it reflect externally what is happening with me internally. When you get home allow yourself 30 mins to free write any of the observations, inspirations, realisations you had.

(This is a great way to connect in with nature AND yourself. It can be done at any time of the year, each season has its own glory and teaching. If you don’t have a chance to do anything else do this one. For something so simple it has such a huge payback.)

Balance yourself

Nature is doing it so why not join in. After all when did you last check in with yourself? Balancing yourself could take the form of making a work life balance assessment (The Life MOT ), realigning your chakras, taking a yoga class or practising a five minute balancing meditation exercise (Here’s my favourite the Tree of Life on Youtube for some inspiration.) Another great way to do this if you have the opportunity is to create an equinox day for yourself giving yourself equal hours of work, rest  and play.  

Clear out

Spring is traditionally associated with “ the spring clean”. In my opinion this tradition arises from the time when we had been staying inside the longhouse during the winter. With the arrival of spring and the new light, more time can be spent outdoors therefore it was time to clean out the house to make space for the new food and materials to be stored after harvest.

Although spring cleaning your home may seem like an arduous and strange task to be doing to help us tune into nature, it is in fact bringing us home into the cycle. In order for new growth after winter beds need to be cleared for the new plants coming. When we tidy around ourselves we also tidy within ourselves (an in times of mind turmoil and confusion can be the achievable task that gets you through the day). Physically by shifting the winter’s dust and cobwebs you are also making your home a healthier place to be. Spring cleaning as unlikely as it seems is a true mind body spirit procedure. So grab a duster, chuck out the old bills you have no use for and if you want a good cleansing after all that hard work book yourself into a spa detox day, go have a healthy lunch with a detox smoothie with friends or jump into the sauna at the local swimming pool. After all life doesn’t all have to be hard work!

Make or revisit your plans

A great way of harnessing the Spring energy is to make or revisit your plans for the year. What goals are working towards? What do you want to create for yourself or your friends and family this year? I find that making plans for actualising my dreams are a lot easier after the Spring Equinox than before. (And if you haven’t got any plans for this year then have a look at my 4 part series on making new year’s resolutions that are easy to keep, it is still new year after all).

It’s at Equinox I revisit my plans, check in to see what is actually realistic now I am further into the year and make detailed plans for those goals. We have in our house a ritual where we combine an Easter tradition and spring goal setting by blowing and painting 3 eggs. (I know it does sound a little strange, bear with me and I’ll explain). On each egg we paint symbols of our 3 main goals we want to achieve. It is a fun way of refocusing our own energy and the symbology of the egg itself reminds us of the spring birth energy throughout the year. And we get to invite our inner children and creative minds into our goal setting process. (Btw the eggs often do look as though our inner children have painted them!)

Take positive action

Remember Walt Disney said “The way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing.” Of And nothing beats connecting with Spring energy like taking positive action. Doing something constructive for new growth is the real theme in nature right now. Personally it is at this time of year I connect with my accountability partner (we have a winter break from Jan – March.) At this time of year we lay out our new goal achieving strategies and support each other to take action. An accountability partner is a great way to support you to manifest what you want in your life. However you might be in need of a different type of positive action. It could be you need a day out to rest and recuperate or an evening connecting with your family to reconnect with yourself. Or it could be time for a life overhaul or just doing that thing that has been bugging you for ages that you haven’t got around to doing. Whatever it is identify what you need to do and do it. And then do the next thing. Small achievements and big achievements go a long way in making us feel great about ourselves and our abilities. So get out there and get going. You will feel fantastic afterwards.  Personally I will be found weeding our garden this weekend. ( I haven’t a clue exactly how to do this as I have never really had my own vegetable garden before, however I am gonna give it my best!)

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Have a great week allowing the Spring Equinox energy to inspire growth, balance and action in your life and have fun getting your spring boost on!

Happy Spring Equinox ❤

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#lifelessons101- The ultimate instant stress relief – Set you inner child free this weekend! (4 min read)

This week has been amazing! Honestly I haven’t enjoyed myself so much in such a long time.

And why? Well this week I have spent a lot of time doing things that has made my inner child incredibly happy. I kid you not! (Sorry. Inexcusable terrible pun… I couldn’t resist it)

Seriously though the last month or so has been stressful (even life coaches get their fair share of tough times you know – I like to think of them as opportunities to practise what I preach and walk my talk). However after finding the 3 steps to turning my monday frown upside down meant I released my inner child, she just continued wanting to play. All the time. So I thought what the heck and decided to make opportunities for her to do just that. We painted, we played games, we watched funny films and we danced, a lot. As often as appropriately possible I took the non serious approach to life and was even to be found galloping around a car park and practicing human dressage! (See the wonderful BBC tv series Miranda.)

The result? I am happier and feeling healthier. I’m definitely more relaxed and freer within myself. The biggest shock of all was that today I found out that in the middle of all of this I have also managed to complete all of my major tasks WITHOUT NOTICING IT! Somehow just by making minimal daily lists and making time for me to indulge my inner child’s whims, I have had one of the most productive weeks I have had in 2017.

Now don’t get me wrong, I get that most of us can’t always release our inner child whenever we want. Not the best idea when pulled over for a random spot check breathalyzer for example. However what I have discovered this week is that allowing my inner child to rule the roost, I have also made other people smile. Which honestly has made my life so much better on so many levels. In the words of Miranda “Life needs to be more jolly”. And it’s true. Everyone needs to feel happier. I can’t think of a single person who if asked “would you like to be happier or more stressed ?”, would opt for stress. So by letting your childish side come out you can actually improve the world around you.

You might be thinking. That’s ridiculous! I can’t be childish all the time. Well no I expect you can’t if you interpret the world childish in a particular way. Especially not if yo look down upon children as lesser than adults. However when I think about children I think about how they see and interact with the world. Children are inquisitive, they want to know how the world works. Children find joy in the smallest of things like a pretty stone, a funny face. They laugh more than us. Children are in touch with their feelings. Children find every possible opportunity to play.  Children are naturally kind and caring. They are not afraid to show love to anyone who needs it or who gives it to them. Children use their joy and their fantasy to make the world a special amazing place and create their dreams. Now that doesn’t sound like so bad a person to be. Does it?

The challenge is for us as adults to tap into our childish source without stepping completely out of our current role. So if you as an adult want  to be less stressed out. To be like the children I described above  then you need to consciously give your inner child a chance to come out. This weekend release your inner child! Do whatever it is that made your 8 year old self happy that you don’t do now. Reconnect with the you that you were to find the joy in who you are now.

Whether you decide to continue giving your inner child opportunities to come out after the weekend is entirely up to you. However I can guarantee that if twice this weekend (once on  Saturday and once on Sunday) that you do something you used to love as a child, your stress level will be dramatically reduced.  It is also so much more fun to do this with a friend, so get your friends family involved – its play date time!

Explore you childishness this weekend. And on n Monday it’s up to you to decide if you want to build a new pillow fort every day and keep connect with your inner child daily or not. Choose whatever works for you. After all it’s you who creates your journey ,so you choose what makes you enjoy that journey the most.
Have a fantabulous, funtastic  weekend – I’m off to go and run around with swords and play vikings with Mr T and friends!

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Turn your Monday frown upside down in three inspiring and hilarious steps!

Mondays uggh! Some days you just get out of  the wrong side of the bed. Today I had it on overload. At 3 minutes to 8am I was done. Even after spending time going through my gratitude list and my positive affirmations 3 secs later something new just annoyed me. Nothing seemed to be shifting my irritable negative cloud. I could have quite happily returned to my bed and slept until the weekend – you know the scenario.

So I started to think about what could make me feel better, what can you do to turn around a monday frown upside down when all the odds are against you? The universe kindly responded by showing me and now as I am sitting here writing to you I am buzzing with energy and dancing along to Don’t Worry Be Happy! (Surreal to think if I had heard this song this morning it would have bugged the heck out of me). So what’s the secret? It’s really simple and easy to follow. If you want to turn you Monday frown upside down and enjoy the rest of your day in spite of getting out of bed on the wrong side follow my three simple steps kindly taught to me today by the universe.

Open up and breath

I know this is the tough part. The last thing you want to do when you are annoyed or irritated is to stop being annoyed (humans, such weird creatures we are). However  if you want to feel happier you need to take charge internally and open yourself up to the possibility of shifting your mood.  And one of the easiest ways of doing this is power  meditating.

I have tried a lot of meditation and always struggled with it however power meditating is the most simple  and shortest meditation/affirmation technique of them all! The concept is simple. Just as a quick power nap freshens the body a quick power  meditation freshens the soul – I found this technique here at Mind Body Green (however the name is from yours truly).

Basically you focus on your breath and breath deeply into your belly allowing it to relax and become soft. Then begin internally repeating to yourself, “Breathing In, I calm myself. Breathing out, I smile.” And you keep doing this until you find you begin to smile. The corners of your mouth start twitching and as you smile you feel better and open for an improvement in your day.

Be creative and release your inner creative child

Children get the better deal. Hours of playtime, oh don’t you miss it. Especially the hours we all spent with paint brush or crayon in hand creating scribbly, wibbly stick men masterpieces to be lovingly displayed on Mum’s fridge. On a crappy day allowing yourself the freedom to doodle, draw and paint the way you did all those years ago (not so long ago for some of you) is absolutely the best medicine.

Why? Because creativity clears the mind. It craves focus which prevents you from being caught up with negative or stressful thoughts. The other equally important part of creating in childhood is that it involves interacting with colour. Colour is all around us but unless we have been lucky enough to follow a creative career path we often stop interacting with it in our adulthood. Colour impacts our moods, our feelings and our behaviours. Best of all our interpretation of colour is completely utterly personal, No-one in the world experiences and reacts to the different colours in exactly the way you do. Stands to reason that interacting with colour liberates us unconsciously.

Step two is simple – Be Creative. However I don’t want you just to be creative, to get rid of your bad mood. I want you to be as creative in a childish way. Small children don’t care. If they make a picture they love it, because they enjoyed making it. They have freedom to express their creative potential because they don’t compare themselves and their abilities with everyone else’s. Something we have all forgotten how to do.

Now I don’t mean you should regress completely and allow your inner child to take over your workplace. However an hour of childish artistic freedom works wonders on any black cloud day. I was lucky today. I got a few hours to paint and stick and glue, in an art class (the wonderful perks of studying human development means you get these kind of opportunities). However if you are at work I get that it can be challenging to suddenly get the crayons out and begin to make stick figure drawings. Luckily the recent fad for mindfulness colouring books and zentangling has made grownup colouring much more socially acceptable, plus it is a great way to be creative without having to initiate the process of the drawing. The first chance you get today grab some paper, draw or make some time to colour. Don’t get caught up in being artistically perfect, get caught up in the experience of playing with colour and the freedom of creating. No matter what it is you make, your inner child will think it is wonderful and if you end up smiling who the heck cares what you drew! (And if you really don’t want to be artistic on paper, another easy and fun way to be creative and interact with colour is Lego. I am serious. And the bonus is that there is always some small child in the world very happy to take it off your hands when you have done the making).

Be stupid and play

Do something stupid. I don’t mean stupid in the buy 100 lotto tickets way, I mean stupid the way you did when you were small. Play. We as adults are incredibly self conscious and caught up in what other people think of us. Getting out of our stuff and doing ‘something daft’ (as my mum would say) is not just a liberating experience for us but for everyone around us. The important factor here is to make sure whatever you do is physical and has absolutely in no way at all a connection to your adult life (which means going to the gym does not count).

Start a paper aeroplane competition, have a pillow fight, jump in puddles.If you dare

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Miranda daring to be daft !

go bigger and follow the wonderful example of Miranda Hart in the BBC series “Miranda” who makes the enjoyment of living alone an art form. The picture says it all…

 

If at all possible do something daft with friends, it makes you laugh more. Today in my second class of the day I was to be found wearing a giant rabbit costume whilst we reenacted a nursery rhyme dance as part of a demonstration of a cognitive and creative development activity for children (again the opportunities of studying human development).

The unexpected byproduct of this experience was the  liberating effect on the adults taking part. Suddenly dressed as fairy tale characters and dancing around playing a game each of the adults came out of their shells. It was a sight to behold.

However as you may have hidden your Buzz Lightyear costume in the darkest recesses of your loft I recommend instead of watching the news tonight getting out the Twister. Nothing lifts the mood like entangling yourself in an impossible position and howling with laughter.

And if nothing else there is always the option of dancing around like a ninny in the kitchen to your favourite music.

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You may notice that the universe today provided me with an experience of childhood which I am recommending to you. To be honest returning to a child’s world perspective, getting out of yourself, ignoring your adult mental constrictions and having a few hours playing and creating, reminds you why life is worth living and it makes sense. Try it (even if you think it sounds bonkers) you will see what I mean.

Combine the acts of breathing, creating and being stupid and I guarantee you that your Monday (or any day of the week) frown cannot possibly remain.

Life is our own adventure so choose to make yours a fun one!

 Have a fantastic week , got to dash I’m off to have a disco in my kitchen (Cue Abba “I am the dancing queen …..”)  

Happy Monday 🙂

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#lifelessons101 – Sometimes doing what you don’t want to do is exactly what you need and comes with unexpected bonuses (2 min read)

 

Sometimes doing what you don’t want to do is exactly what you need to do. I know when talking about life or personal development we talk about making informed, positive choices. Facing situations with positivity. Sending out the right vibrations. And yes all of these things have value. However there are sometimes in life where you just have to do the things you are unwilling to do. It (at the start)sucks but in the end it brings you the bigger rewards.

 

Take last weekend for example. I was at a “viking” fighting training weekend (yes when I am not running around with a wand playing Tonks, you can often find me running around with a metal replica sword, bashing and being bashed by my friends. Yep I  am a viking re- enactor. I love to fight with r a system known as  western style. It’s on one hand similar to tag with weapons and a lot of historical background! On the other it’s an amazing international and ever evolving sport.) Now in this sport I am not the best, not by a long shot; and typically when participating in training weekend workshops I often have had a tendency to hide away and not fight with the technically clever, aka the people who are blooming good and are probably going to win every fight we have. Basically I would (previously) get into my stuff and limit myself by trying to protect myself from feeling rubbish about my lack of abilities by using one or another excuse to get out of the fights with said people.

 

I know, I know a low self belief spawned, self created situation/drama.

 

And one of which I was completely  unaware of until last weekend when I found myself at a workshop (which I had chosen due to personal interest in the subject)in the company of some the best fighters I know. So I didn’t have a choice. I had to spar with them. I was simply forced into doing something I normally wouldn’t choose to do. And what did I gain? Well I gained a hell of alot. Firstly I realised this whole self limiting and self creating behaviour drama cycle thing I didn’t notice I was doing. And once I got out of my reacting mindset and into my responding humble mindset I learnt more. I even realised how I learn best (which by the way is agonisingly slow, when it comes to doing things with my own body, it’s an Aspergers co-ordination thing). From sparring with those guys, letting down my guard, I learnt so much more because their ability stretched mine and wow do I feel grateful to them and to myself for allowing this learning.

 

And the benefits of doing something I didn’t want to do didn’t stop there.

 

By day two of the training weekend I was at yet another workshop surrounded by much more able people (some of who I would consider to be the best in this sport, this time with a humdinger of a hangover). However now I was aware of it I chose the what the fuck I am doing it anyway even when I don’t want to attitude. Instead of shying away from the harder fights  (in my head) I choose them and by the end of the weekend I had learnt more in two days than I have in two years of fighting. It was exhilarating!

 

Doing exactly the opposite of what I wanted to do actually freed me from my mental constraints and opened up possibilities for me that weekend. But could that be a one off event? Nope. Being as I like to experiment. I have applied this theory all week. Even today after a week of being home sick (turns out it wasn’t just a hangover I was also sick) I had to return to school, something I really, really did not want to do. And yet it turned out to be exhilarating. The welcome, the learning, the shared jokes. Even when having to point out my opinion against everyone else’s (something I don’t find difficult in English but hate to do in another language). Once again Doing the exact opposite of what my instincts were telling me I wanted to do freed me leaving me open to new experiences. Wow.

 

Now I understand you maybe thinking “I thought I am supposed to respond to my instincts so how can doing the what I don’t want to do fit that picture?” Well asked grasshopper. From what I have learned in the last 7 days, it’s about trying it out. Our brains and especially our unconscious can be very devious. It sends out all kinds of messages and a lot of them contradict each other, making following our instincts very difficult. Ultimately I have found if there is something you really don’t want to do but dare to do it anyway you will often find that it was actually something you wanted to do, you just hadn’t realised it. The making yourself do it was just the kick up the bum you needed to get going.

 

The key to gaining the most from the experience is to (as always) remain open. If you are closed you will only ever endure the drama of doing what it is you didn’t want to do and how awful that was for you. Remain open to the possibilities presented to you when doing something you really didn’t want to do and you will be pleasantly if not overwhelmingly surprised by the benefits.  The choice is yours, its how you choose to experience it.

 

So next time life presents you with something you really don’t want to do – do it * Open your mind and try. The way I see things, any experience in life is a good thing if we learn something from it. Because by learning we grow. So open your mind and dive in. Whether it is facing your hardest opponent, returning to work after being ill or even going to a gig on your own, no matter what it is, by doing that thing you least want to do you will find wealth of learning, possibilities and experiences that you could never have found if you stayed in your comfort zone.

 

So whenever you get the chance break out of yourself, kick your own butt  and choose to do the thing you don’t want to do. You never know what adventure you may start ….

 

Enjoy the journey ❤

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(*With of course taking into consideration that your and other people’s safety will not be jeopardised. Always ce careful of you and other people)  

#Lifelessons101 – Arrgh! I’m surrounded by idiots – 3 emotionally intelligent ways to deal with the most annoying of people (3 min read)

 

You know life sometimes just seems to be filled with annoying people. Everywhere you go you meet someone who is irritating or unnecessarily stupid or even worse you meet someone and it is hate at first sight. Meeting annoying people or even someone who you instantly dislike is unfortunately something we have all experienced. (If you haven’t I commend you fine person please write in the comments how you do it because we mere mortals will be happy to learn your secrets.) It’s like that person in someway shape or form manages to get under your skin, irritate every possible nerve, conscious and unconscious thought. And why? Why do we have times where we meet people like this? Well it would be very easy to say the world is full of idiots and that’s that. However we all know deep down inside that’s just not true.

 

Whenever we feel a strong emotion (especially when it comes right out of the blue) it is the universe jumping up and down with a message for us. (Note to self: it must be friday because in my mind there is now a picture of the universe jumping up and down wearing heavy wooden clogs and screaming “Notice me!”. Next note to self: you are rambling. My apologies.) So what is the message that the universe sending you when you seem to be surrounded by halfwits and people that get under your skin?

 

This week the universe has been sending me irritating people and annoying situations by proxy. I have spent most of the week observing other people’s interactions going horribly wrong so much so that  I was becoming totally overloaded and also starting to be drawn into the drama. Until yesterday someone had a conflict and in helping them I reminded myself of three life pearls of wisdom regarding why other people can annoy us so much. In remembering these pearls I was able to step back from the drama around me and use this universal message to learn more about myself, grow a little and enrich my life’s journey. Now who would have thought that from being surrounded by idiots eh!?

 

So here are three easy things to remember that will help you in any situation, with any annoying person. The trick is remembering them and applying them.

They remind you of you

Whaaaaaaat ! ( I can hear you from here). Yes it’s true. Whether its the annoyingly slow person serving at the counter or that person you absolutely hate, the reason they annoy yo is because they remind you of you. But not the good part of you. They remind you of a bit of you that you don’t like. Especially with hate at first sight.

Have a look at the person you dislike or are most annoyed by and mentally describe that person and compare them to you. For example the bossy domineering, controlling person in your workplace is actually you when you are stressed and trying desperately to hold things together by bossing other people about.

This exercise is not easy but it is INCREDIBLY enlightening. It can identify hidden fears, negative self narratives or unresolved issues and by uncovering these unciousous things we become soo powerful.

It’s their stuff

Let’s face it one of the most irritating thing another person  can do is react negatively towards you. A tone of voice or a facial expression can be the catalyst for a personal feud lasting generations or (on a slightly more realistic level) a sense of irritation and frustration that follows you round annoying you for the rest of the day. Now wouldn’t it be great to be able to let go of that. You can. Basically you have to realise that it’s the other person’s stuff. Whatever the reason they reacted it is based on something in them, their personal world. It’s not your stuff it’s theirs. So let it go. We have enough of our own emotional baggage to deal with without carrying someone else’s.  

Remembering that it’s not your stuff not only releases you from your personal dramas it also has the added bonus of freeing you up to handle the other person differently which will make whatever the situation is better.

You can only work on yourself

The two realisations above can lead you to some very important personal reflection and growth. It is important to realise when it comes to other people you are not in control. You cannot help them to have the above realizations and respond to you and themselves in an emotionally intelligent way, that’s up to them. (Well you can ofc share my articles with them! However they might not have the same impact on someone else as they do with you).

What you do have control over is you. You can control how you respond to a situation. You have a choice. And it’s your choices that make that interaction with another person positive or negative. Now I hated the person who first told me this (for about 3 mins). However it’s a fact. We have the power in us to react or respond. To live in a world of instincts or to take control and look deeper within to understand and grow.

 

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When you use these thought processes in practice it frees you up to a whole new world of interactions with other people as well as a new level of self awareness and emotional intelligence. Try them out this weekend and make a mental note of how much happier you are to be around people that would normally drive you crazy, The world is only full of idiots when you’re stupid enough to allow it to be! It’s your life, your choice, so make the best choices for you ❤

 

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