#lifelessons101- Being authentically you in the spotlight in just 3 steps! (2 min read)

When was the last time you were naked? (And no I am not talking about physically I mean metaphorically). In this past week I have had the privilege of participating in the Wonderfully Wierd Women’s Branded workshop created by Esther De Charon De Saint Germain

This workshop for me has been a breath of fresh air.

Why? Well because I dared, I committed and I was authentically me. I put myself out there. And everybody liked it! Now that might not sound so difficult, when put like this, yet it is. Let’s take daring. Daring to do something that you are afraid of doing is natural. Especially when you have to end up in the spotlight. And I mean YOU have to out YOU the real YOU in the spotlight. We are all of us petrified of being us and being rejected. And actually that’s ok. It’s normal, almost genetic you could say. Theories say that this feeling comes from the days when we part of a tribe. Then our survival relied on that tribe, so daring to be in the spotlight was risking the tribe rejecting us, or worse killing us. It’s a basic survival instinct in our subconscious, However we don’t need to be scared of rejection anymore. Because the world is actually a smaller place these days. No-one is going to kill you if you stand up at work and dare to be different or present something. The fear of not daring actually causes much more pain to us than actually doing it. So we have to take charge of this fear.

This week I took charge. I dared to tell a bunch of strangers about me on a personal level. I dared listen to feedback on some really vulnerable things. Was I scared? Hell yeah! Did it stop me? No way! I fought that fear and did it anyway. And the result? A bunch of people I never met saw the authentic me as a strong powerful and even inspiring person. They saw the raw me. It was so empowering. I simply employed the power of fuck it and fuck them. (Not the most poetic of names I know but truly descriptive.)  

What I decided was simple. In 3 steps I found a clear path to being authentically me in the spotlight, and I want to share them with you.

Step number 1 : Acceptance

I basically accepted that not everyone would like me or resonate with me. I can’t please everyone and not everyone is going to like me. So what was the point in hiding me away trying to do the impossible and make everyone like me. And the ‘fuck them’ was born!

Step number 2 : Daring and do

Well if you can say ‘fuck them’ and decide to ignore all the people that don’t resonate or appreciate with you then you can say ‘fuck it’. Why ? Well because really if you know you won’t please everyone it stands to reason you will please someone. So ‘fuck it’. And once you have said ‘fuck it’ you have the power to dare, so do it. For me it was turning up at the workshop, doing the challenge and then putting out there for people to see. It might be the presentation, taking the talk with your partner or simply putting on the dress you are hella nervous about wearing (Oh and when it comes to the dress people won’t notice. This happens to me a lot. I debate, worry, take it on, off etc when I think something is too daring, then I wear it anyway and people just act like , well like normal around me! After all my stress it is a little insulting).  Nike is right “Just do it” be bold be brave and step into the spotlight.

Step number three – Enjoying the results.

So if you followed the step one and two thought processes by now you should have already dared and are standing in the spotlight being authentically you. What next? Well stop closing your eyes and waiting for a thunderclap, open them and enjoy it. When you are authentically you, you will find that the right things happen, the right people are attracted to you and equally the right opportunities open up for you.  When we are authentically and honestly ourselves in the spotlight we inspire people. People actually begin to expect us to do it, it becomes our norm so to speak. So quit worriting and enjoy it.  (Celebrate your successes remember!) And if you meet someone who doesn’t like you then authentic you go back to step one and start all over again!

Have a great weekend and be authentically you while you are at it ❤

REMEMBER

Have a healthy life by celebrating your success! (2 min read)

I’m sitting here alone on a Monday afternoon, in a cafe on a sunny day in Denmark with relaxing jazz in the background and a tall cold, glass of bubbling wine in my hand. I am celebrating my latest success! It’s lovely. I probably don’t look as chic as I feel but it’s the feeling that is important not the way I look. I feel fantastic. And part of the reason I feel so great is not just because I have been successful. It is because I have taken this hour to celebrate my success.

In our busy lives we actually have many successes be they small or large and yet in the hectic schedule they can often be overlooked and therefore go unnoticed.  All work and no play made jack a dull boy and the same goes for you too. Our successes in life are our high points. If we don’t acknowledge them then life is seriously boring.

In today’s society we are all incredibly focused on what is wrong, what is not working and how can we fix it. I am not saying that is all bad, good growth comes from this form of processing; HOWEVER if we only ever focus on the bad, we will only ever see the bad. And if you are seeing only bad then guess what? You will attract more of it. And that my friends creates a negative mindset and we all know how unhealthy and damaging that can be.

There are many reasons why you should celebrate your successes and when it becomes a habit you will find that life actually becomes EVEN MORE successful for you. Why ? Because as you send out a vibration of success the world around you ripples back a wave of success.

Here are 5 reasons why you should celebrate your successes, no matter how big or small, today

It feels great!

It feels wonderful to celebrate something we have achieved. It energises us. When we achieve something our body releases dopamine the happy chemical into our blood. And as  after all being happy and enjoying our life is what we all want, right? So why miss a perfectly good opportunity to enjoy yourself!

It’s inspiring!

 

Celebrating or success can be inspirational to our future successes. Just as we can learn from something going wrong we can also learn from it going right. Make a note of what you did that helped create your success and look at it when you are aiming for a different star.

It’s motivating!

It’s logical. If you are working towards a goal and it always feels like that goal is slipping away and is un-achieveable then why would you want to keep going. By marking our successes big and small, especially the small, we remember them and we can feel how close we are getting to our goal and that makes us want to keep going. Your success are proof that you can do whatever it is your set your mind to do.

It attracts more success!

Basically the more you celebrate your successes you develop a success mindset. And that is a mindset you need to keep feeding. By noting your successes you are telling yourself “look at what I can do”. Keep looking for opportunities to celebrate your success and you will surprise yourself with how often you have success.

It’s shareable!

Celebrating your success with others is a form of sharing abundance. Think about all of your friends happy pictures and statuses on Facebook that make you feel good. People want to have fun, they like to hear good news so let them join in your fun and make everyone feel great!

————————————————————————————————————————————–

So no matter what successes you have had today, big or small, it could be managing to do the washing up when you are seriously depressed or celebrating your first big movie deal, whatever it is celebrate it. Remember as Osho says “Life should not only be lived it should be celebrated”
Have a wonderful week ❤

celebrate your success

What’s your secret Disney Identity? Disney films and characters as a self development and motivational tool (3 min read)

I was recently asked if ‘You were a brand what brand would you be?’ ‘What brand would describe your personality?’ Wow great soul searching questions and the answer? I would be Disney. (And seriously for a natural conscious earth respecting hippie like myself I was shocked at this however the fact remained that I as a brand I would be Disney.) Creative, playful. A Walt Disney quote is even one of my mantras “If you can dream it, you can do it”.

The more I thought about it the more I wondered why is it that I connect so much with Disney? And the answer came to me relatable characters, adversity  and bravery to follow their dreams and stories that connected with me at the right place and time in my life when I needed to hear a particular message.  Honestly the Little Mermaid was me at 11, rash and daring, Belle at 14, desperate to go out into the world and escape my small town life, Mulan the warrior facing and winning against all the odds inspired me in my partially homeless 20s and Tiana now in my 30’s determined to create my dream into reality. I have been a constant Peter Pan all of my days, with the optimism of Winnie the Pooh and lived all of the fears and bravery of Piglet. And not forgetting Up, the film that inspires and epitomises my dream of a true love and partnership.

Most of us have a favourite Disney film and a favourite character. But have you ever thought about what your connection to that story and character is ? (Apart from your tshirts, mugs and cuddly toys either hidden about the home or proudly displayed.) Every story we have heard or seen  and remembered has affected us on a conscious or unconscious level. As we feel drawn to a character we admire them, their personality traits their resilience. I mean who wouldn’t love to have Rapunzel’s effectiveness in housework chores. Seriously though these characters we love display qualities we wish to possess or mimic. For example take my connection with Belle. She didn’t fit in, neither did my 14 year old self. She didn’t seem to care and stayed determinedly herself, my 14 year old self desperately wanted to do that. Belle made sacrifices for her father who she loved and put his needs before her own. Something I have always done (although the latter was not a healthy experience it did teach me a lot). Her story is as much a transformation as the Beast’s and oh didn’t my bespeckled, teeth braced awkward self want the transformation from bookish outsider to a loved and appreciated beauty.

These films, these characters we identify with have messages for us all throughout our lives if we look for them. Recently I re-saw Beauty and the Beast and I was shocked at the power of my emotions. Honestly I was crying and afterwards when I looked at which songs I had been so moved by I realised that my life situation at the moment was reminding me a lot of my teenage gawky school days as I now face my recent Asperger’s diagnosis and living in an entirely new place. The film helped me see the challenge clearly and from that I have now been able to work with it.

Try watching your favourite Disney movie. Make notes of where you feel emotional pulls. Who do you identify with and why? How does this character, plot line relate to you now or in the past. Journal this and see if you can find a teaching in the message the film has given you. (And sorry no I cannot be more specific the message is yours to interpret I can’t guide you there, just keep looking until you find the answer).

Disney characters can also be used as a way of identifying our ideal personalities. Now please don’t get me wrong I am not saying any one Disney character is absolutely perfect, they are not. However as I mentioned before they have qualities we admire that we would like to see in ourselves.

Think about the qualities of your favourite character. What do you admire in them? Write a list. Now look at each quality ask yourself how am I like this? If you cannot see this but would like to then ask yourself ,how can I bring this quality into my life?

Many years ago I found out quite by accident that not only can Disney character’s help us learn about ourselves, they can also act as motivators and inspiration. A girlfriend was in a bad situation. She loved Pocahontas. So I, in my desperation to help ,asked what she though Pocahontas would do. To my surprise her body language took on a different quality. Her head went back and she knew exactly how her favourite character would have handled her situation. So I told her to connect with her inner Pocahontas when she need the bravery to face her problem. A few days later she was on top of the world and the problem was on her way to being solved! I have tried this time and time again and I have always found it works. We just find it easier sometimes to think through another’s perspective and character. Plus when we think of them we smile and feel good, which just goes to show Disney is doing what it does best if it can evoke that feeling even years after we have seen a film.

Or maybe it is as Tinkerbell said “Imagination has no age”. So allow yourself to connect with your inner child and find your secret Disney identity this week. Allow the magical kingdom to open doors and pathways to healing, understanding, bravery, imagination and empowerment whether it’s from a mouse, a fairy, a princess, a stuffed bear or simply a warthog ❤

 

Imagination.jpg

 

 

Radiate self love and a high quality of life in your everyday in 3 steps (3 minutes read)

To be able to love ourselves and have a fantastic quality of life are two of the main goals almost everyone on the planet has yet how many of us allow our outer world to reflect these goals? If you want to manifest self love and a high quality of life (and by that I mean whatever it is you consider to be a high quality of life) you have to create space to allow it to manifest. We often tend to think of this as an internal journey or process, and yes on the one hand it is. On the other hand if you are looking in a mirror, working on your self love affirmations and in the mirror you can see the bathroom is a mess behind you what message do you think this is giving to you own subconscious and everyone else’s about how you value and appreciate yourself and your life?

Your outer world the way you live, the way you dress shows both yourself and everyone else what you think of yourself and your worth. Both these things are mirrors to our relationship with us, our own self love and a mirror of the quality of life we think we deserve. So it stands to reason if you want to have a life of quality, if you want self love this needs to be taken into consideration in your everyday life. Yet how often we don’t take it into consideration, especially with our homes. How many of you rushed out the door this morning dreading the mess you will get home to? (Probably the majority of us!) It’s so easy to say ‘when I get promotion,’ ‘when I move into my dream home’ and ‘when I am living my dream life’ my home will reflect my high quality of life, it will show the world how much I love myself. But you are living in the here and now. Technically tomorrow never comes because when you wake up it is always today, the only day you have the power to change.

So putting the unpacking of the moving boxes off, leaving the washing/washing up/making the bed/emptying the closet until tomorrow means that that the jobs pile up and you don’t feel great about it. It’s depressing. And the universe hears it. If you take the principle that everything you send out gets reflected back to you then trying to manifest self love and a great quality of living whilst living in an environment and manner that says I am not worth better that is exactly what you are going to get.

And that is the complete opposite to what you want. You want an amazing life right now – right? Right.

So let’s do this here and now. I challenge you and me to dedicate this week to creating an environment that reflects your self love and the quality of life you. Here are a few tips to get you started.

What thoughts am I wearing today ?

Now it’s easiest to start with us because on some level What Thoughts Are youWearing Todaywe do this already when we go to work, out with friends etc. We all want to look our best. But have you ever thought about how your mental state affects the choices you make about what you wear and when? When I am feeling worn down I either go for the most comfortable clothes I can find or I dress up and put on a little makeup to boost my spirits, business meetings I power dress to make me feel confident and when gardening having my beaten up cowboy hat on makes me feel proper country and relaxed!

I used to make these choices unconsciously, allowing my mood to dress me. These days by my mirror stand an important post-it note with one sentence on it that reminds
me to be conscious about my choices. It simply says:

“What thoughts am I wearing today?”

Amazingly powerful. I want to feel great about myself. I want to feel strong. So these are the thoughts I put on and boy does it make a difference. Try it and you will see

I am worth the best

Do you remember the L’Oréal ads tagline “Because I am worth it” ? This is my mantra at home, well everywhere actually. I deserve the best and so do you. The I am worth the best attitude I started when I was actually pretty low on cash and at a point in my life where I was recovering from a very bad breakup. I wanted a quick way to remind myself everyday how great I am. So I took the decision to buy only organic food. And believe me that was not easy on the food budget I had.

What thoughtsare youwearing today -Yet every time I saw the organic logo on my shopping, in my fridge I would think I am worth it. My body deserves the best. Even now 3 years later I have it. Today I don’t just keep it at food. I deserve the best and therefore my bed needs to be made so it’s a pleasure to return there at night, therefore eating dinner at a laid table with glasses not plastic bottles, and a candle or two decorating it reminds me every day I am worth the best. Its these small things that show me and the world and the universe that I have a high quality of life and I love myself.

What is the best for you? What shows you you are worth the best? Have a think about it and form to 2 new little habits this week to remind you that you are worth it.

Your home reflecting the quality of your life.

Now take a good look around you (well once you get home or also at your personal space at work).  How does your home, your car, even your wallet reflect how you think about your life?

Is it organised and cosy or chaotic and depressing? I am by no means a neat freak.( Since childhood my floor has passed as a wardrobe and my mother will probably howl with laughter when she reads this next piece of advice and wonder where her daughter has gone.) However almost 20 years ago I read something which has stayed with me always. Quite simply that if you tidy up on the outside then you tidy up on the inside as well. When we clear away mess and cobwebs we make room for new energy to come and fill the space. SO no matter how much I don’t want to do the house work I know at the end of it I will feel 10 000 times better and my life also feels happier.  But where to start.

First you write a description about how your dream home will be. Now compare it to your now home. Chances are some of the things you described are already there- yay go you! So now you just need to work on the other parts. And usually that means clearing out. Start with your wallet, then your bag, then one cupboard and the next until everything has had a cleanse out and you feel lighter. It’s amazing how much stuff we keep that bogs us down and wonderful the feeling of release to let it all go and give it away. Or even sell it if you can.

Now have a look around at your home again and have a great think about in each room
how you can reflect your love for you in one place. Quality.jpgMaybe it’s a painting, a quote on the wall or even a notice board.
A chair set up just for you to read and drink tea. A crafting corner. Your kitchen reorganised to suit your new dietary needs (and if you have been clearing out properly there will be more space with less plates etc!) A pamper station in the bathroom or even just a set up in the house that makes morning routines a bit easier will go a long way to you feeling good about yourself and loving your life right now, right this minute.  Be inventive (or use pinterest as I do for inspiration) and have fun with this. In a way you are feng shui-ing your own home in harmony with your own chi (or flow of energy) it is all about you showing yourself and the world, on a very large scale, that you are worth it!

Just think how great you will feel about yourself when you post the pictures on Facebook or invite friends and family over in the future and they compliment you 😉

 

————————————————————————————————————————————

Take up the self love and life quality reflection challenge this week and begin building in your own time and tempo the strong foundations of a life when your outer world reflects your inner world in a positive and inspiring way where you have created space for you to love yourself, the look that tells people how wonderful you are and cleared the space for you to focus on quality not quantity in your everyday world.
Let me know how it goes by writing in the comments below. Have a wonderful week of self love and enhancing the quality of your life, until next time enjoy the journey ❤

#lifelessons101 – Why people are draining you and how to stop it happening (3 min read)

 

It’s friday night, there is glorious sunshine out of my window, the wind is blowing and the garden is calling yet tonight I am simply too shattered to go out and play. I am tired. Not just physically but mentally. I am people tired.

As a life coach, and also in my private life, I work with people everyday and I love that. I love helping and giving help to self help, I love to help people grow and I love learning from the people I help and getting the opportunity to grow myself.  However sometimes I get exhausted by it. Sometimes I just get tired of people and I also get people tired. I know those sound similar they are not, bear with me I will explain. Getting tired of people is where you simply get fed of human interaction games until it exhausts. Getting people tired is where you feel drained by other people through helping too much.

The challenge is that getting tired of people and people tired is not something we usually talk about it polite society. Certainly not in inclusive Scandinavia where doing everything together is the way life is. YET we all have times where we feel like this. AND the teaching of being tired of people or of being people tired is actually a really important message for us if we choose to listen instead of being into the drama that people are just blooming annoying /stupid/insert adjective of choice, and why won’t they sort blah blah out, and why do they leave it to you and blah, blah, blah.

We just need to look for the teachings. And when you do you will find that the teachings of being tired of people and people tired are different ,yet also both have an initial underlying message. The underlying message is simple. It is that something is not right for you in the relationships you have and the interactions you having with other people. Both of these feelings are your spirits way of say “HELLO. Something ain’t in balance. Take notice!”

And the way to take notice (or the what to do about it) is defined by the individual teachings of being tired of people and people tired. I have noticed a few and these are below with a few suggestions for healing solutions. Maybe you have noticed other teachings if you have please share them in the comments below then we can all support each others learning journey.

Being tired of people:

Everyone you met is annoying and usually in the same way. I have found this can mean two thingsTEACHING: You are surrounding yourself with the wrong type of people. Your body, well more accurately your soul, is crying out to say I need to grow in a different way, these people don’t support that growth, find me people that support the growth I need.

HEALING SOLUTION: Soul search, identify what you need and call in the right people. You don’t need to cut other people off, just set the intention the the right people will turn up and distance yourself discreetly from the people that are reflecting attitudes or growth that you don’t need. If you can figure out what exactly it is that is bugging you about the people in your life it will give you a pretty clear idea of the change and growth you need .

TEACHING: The people in our lives mirror us. Which means the people bugging you are reflecting something about you, a habit that you have that you dislike and need to face in order to feel complete.

HEALING SOLUTION: Find out what it is and work with it. You can if you want to get to know the person that is bugging you, this does often give you deeper understanding of why they are the way they are and why you are the way you are. If you really dare (and I do know this is tough I have dared and also chosen not to) tell them you that they are bugging you because of X, Y and Z and that you realise this is something about your personality you dislike and that you wish to work with and begin a healing dialogue with them.

Being people tired.

People tired can be defined as never having time for yourself and yet help everyone else. I do this ALOT.

TEACHING: You are giving more than you can give you need to save energy for you and your life too.

HEALING SOLUTION:  Check in with yourself and set boundaries. Count to ten before saying yes or offering help make sure you have the resources for everything you need to do before trying to fix someone else’s life. After all if you are broken it won’t help them will it. If you feel bad you can always suggest a solution that doesn’t involve you and you find that you have helped.

TEACHING: You are putting off dealing with something in your own life by fixing someone else. after we all know how easy it is to fix everyone else’s lives rather than our own.

HEALING SOLUTION: Stop. Check in with you. What is it you have been putting off by helping everyone else? Do it. Eat that frog (not a real one, a metaphorical one …honestly! She says shaking her head.) Do thing thing you don’t want to do for you and once it is over you will feel better, Than you can help all and sundry,

—————————————————————————————————————————————–

The moral of this tale is if you are feeling people tired or tired of people check in with you. In whatever extreme emotion situation you find yourself in life there will always always be a teaching you just need to look for it. And if you check in with you and fix your stuff you will be in a much better place to serve and enjoy the wonderful people in your life.

Have a restful and happy weekend ❤

 

HALDEN.jpg

 

How to create your positive life? Take action and create your hour of power! :Part one The Miracle morning (3 min read)

Thinking positively creates a positive  life. Taking positive action creates a positive life. Imagine what you can do when you combine the two!

Simply said Positive actions + Positive thoughts   =  A Positive life  

I know put like that it sounds easy and yet I can already hear your resistance from here. Changing our thought patterns takes effort however it is easy to slot into our lives. It takes conscious thought however we can work positive thought into our schedule without too much hassle. (And for advice on this check out how to create new beliefs or how to communicate positively or even take the laughter challenge!) However taking positive action means making changes to our everyday and boy do we all like to resist that stretching of our comfort zone. The challenge is that without the positive action our thoughts remain inside us. As effective as the power of positive thought is , we need to do things in the physical as well as the mental arenas of our lives to really make lasting, effective and magnificent change.

It’s basically our choice. We can take action to create the lives we want. AND it doesn’t need to be as difficult as we imagine to do that.  Actually it’s really easy once we make the choice to act. And the bonus is that once we start it’s easier to do more and more that is good for us and sooner or later you find that you are actually living the life you dreamed of.

Yes! I can hear you now raring to go and wanting the easy guide. Well in my experience it’s all to do with your hour of power.  Now in actual fact your hour doesn’t need to be an hour 30 – 60 mins of your day dedicated to positive actions can initiate the transition from you life now to the life you want. The idea is as I said, simple. You create everyday 30 – 60 mins that is for you. You time. Now I don’t mean the sitting on the sofa when the kids are in bed drinking wine kind of you time. I mean the energising, life boosting opportunity for personal growth kind of you time.

Imagine 30 mins – 60 mins of a day where you can just concentrate on you. Your dreams. Your life. Yourself. It’s an amazingly powerful thought and an amazingly powerful reality.

There is one catch. Although not a big one. In order to give yourself this experience you will have to change your habits. Preferably your morning habits. The first hour of your day is actually the most important. It is where you set up the mood, motivation and outlook for your entire day. Imagine for a moment that instead of bashing the alarm clock and roll over, you growl at the alarm slightly, stretch out, turn off the alarm, make a cup of whatever you fancy in the morning, wash your face, brush your teeth and then slightly less sleepily wander into whatever space that is yours and private for 30 to 60 mins and at the end of that time you are buzzing with energy, understanding and motivation. Raring to go for the day. And most of all happy. Now how is that for an idea?

This actually how I start my day. And it’s amazing. I love it. No matter how tired I am when I start  my hour of power I am addicted and hate not to do it. Why?  Because I feel so great after it! It sets me up for the day. It is my me time, my inspiration. And no I am not a natural morning person. Heck no! I was always a night owl.  Until the day I put working with the law of attraction on my vision board. That week I got introduced to my favourite of personal development tools The (life changing) Miracle Morning created by Hal Elrod.  In a nutshell the Miracle Morning concept is simple. Each day you wake up and spend the first 30 – 60 minutes doing activities to stimulate you personal growth, motivate you for the day and in essence gradually transform your life. Hal Elrod has combined 6 of the most powerful and successful morning activities carried out by the world’s most successful people into an easily accessible and flexible system. So every morning I do 5 to 10 minutes of my six “S.A.V.E.R.S” activities. These are silence (meditation), affirmations, visualisation, exercise, reading and scribing (journalling). (Actually my miracle morning is in the order E.R.S.S.V.A it just doesn’t look as good when written down!)

When I started The Miracle Morning I did five minutes of each and the results I got were amazing. Then my life changed a little and I found that I was unable to do it everyday. And you know what I missed the buzz that my Miracle Morning gave me. I missed it so much that I chose to get up an hour earlier every possible day to just to make my miracle morning time. I get up at 5 am Monday to Friday. I mean I used to go to bed at that time now I am up and doing yoga! Well except on weekends. On weekends I wake up and then I do it no matter the time. My house knows to leave me to it and gives me the space. I think mostly because they prefer the miracle morning me to the pre-me, who bit off anyone’s head if they irritated me before one coffee and two cigarettes. (I now have neither in the mornings.) The transformation is astounding. I have shocked myself. (And my Mum who can not get over the fact her daughter now gets up so early!) And it is infectious and additive. Even Mr T gets up and does his hour of power every day (although his involves all exercise- each to their own). The more I start my day in this positive way, the more motivated I am to keep my day going in the same direction And bit by bit my life is transforming.  Now If course The Miracle Morning isn’t the only reason my life is getting better, I am taking positive action wherever I can and whenever I am inspired. However my miracle morning really is my hour of power enabling me to do and achieve things I never thought I would.

It works for me. And thousands of others. I won’t explain it here because there are so mnay places online you can find out about it. Check it out http://www.miraclemorning.com/   or Hal Elrod on YouTube, or alternatively you can buy the book which I truly recommend. However if you don’t decided to try the Miracle Morning system do choose an hour of power for you everyday. I have a friend whose hour of power is on the train journey to work. Another who fits it in flexibly every day at different times depending on her schedule.  The point is simply that if you choose to create time in the day for you, where you dedicate time to your own personal growth and focusing on your dreams, you will be taking the healthiest positive action you can take. By making that commitment to yourself you are committing to creating your dreams and taking control of your life. You become a person consciously and mindfully living. And someone who is actively doing good this  cannot help but create a positive life for themselves. Why? Because when you consciously aim for positive action, your natural state becomes positive. And a person whose natural state is positive is living a positive life.

The math tells the truth 🙂

Positive action + positive thought = positive life

So choose you today. Choose your hour of power. Choose to take action to create a positive, energising and productive happy life. You have everything you need within the power of your own choice…

6164a-11007813_1575978919322073_1190436640_n.jpg

 

#lifelessons101  – Make a lovely start to your weekend by randomly making someone else feel appreciated (2 min read)

In the last two weeks I have had 2 completely out of the blue, completely unexpected messages over social media that have made me feel appreciated and wonderful. Two people who don’t know each other wrote to me independently to say how I made their day better by my positivity and that the impact in their lives of knowing me inspired them. WOW! I mean wow! They had no other reason to tell me just they thought I should know. It meant so much to me. Especially as these people are people who I like very much but, as yet are not in my close inner circle or daily life. It took my breath away, it made me feel so lovely.

In fact it made me feel so great that I thought wouldn’t it be fantastic if everyone could feel this way. We all like to feel good. And we know for a fact that by being appreciated we feel great and by  doing something nice for other people we feel awesome. So why not combine the two?

This weekend let’s make a positive bubble around the world together. It will take you only five minutes. Simply to find someone you know (but not too closely) who inspires you, makes your day better or who you simply admire as a person (not attracted to but admire). When you have chosen write this person a short message over Facebook (or your social media platform of choice). Make it honest and simple. Tell them why you think they are so great, inspiring, lovely and tell them you just thought they ought to know. Don’t ask for anything of them. Just tell them how great they are. The chances are that this person has not a clue of the impact they make in your life and probably needed to hear it. I know I did. And a little compliment can go a long way after a busy working week. Then please share this article on Facebook/twitter/your blog and pass the idea on to your friends and family.

After that go and have a wonderful weekend knowing you have made someone else feel happy.  Sometimes it’s simply nice to be nice

Have a lovely weekend ❤

It's nice to be nice -).png

6 Easy steps to create new beliefs so you can make the positive happy life you want. (4 min read)

We all want to live a positive and happy life. There are a million and one articles out there telling us how to do this. Eating that food, doing this type of exercise, saying these affirmations. The options for self improvement are as wide and varied as the human race itself. However with all of these proven possibilities out there often people drop their new “way” because it’s not working or creating the results they want to see.

Do you know it? Have you done it? Well I know I have. And boy do I also know the spiral  of guilt that follows afterwards. Luckily for me those days are slowly becoming more and more a part of my distant past. How? Well I found myself the perfect alley to get the the positive and happy life I want. I discovered my brain. You may be thinking what the heck but pause for a moment. Our brains are in control of everything. And you know yourself if in life you want to make significant change it’s best to work with those at the top. And I’ll let you into a fantastic secret about your brain which makes creating the positive happy life you want really easy.

Our brains are stupid.

(Well not at everything of course brains do a fantastic job of keeping us alive and running the complicated system that is the human being. Credit where credit is due).  

However when it comes to creating new beliefs and habits our brains are actually really stupid. It’s to do with our animalistic DNA and how we create memory and belief.  Basically your memories and beliefs are created by the number of repetitions of an event, or stimulus. For example, being told you are great at cooking. If you get told something once it becomes a “short term memory”, however if you get told it 5 or more times it becomes a “long term memory” (Kandel Brain and Mind, 5) or in other words, a new belief. In our example you may feel that you are a better cook than Nigella Lawson. The more you get told something (or stimulated) in the the same way you release “Serotonin” into your body. Serotonin makes you feel happier , well balanced and reduces stress and depression, as well as doing many wonderful things for your body’s well being. In the cooking example  this means every time you step into the kitchen you feel like a cooking guru and are happy and relaxed before you begin.

Repetition creates your brains beliefs. Any repetition. Yes that means unfortunately the same is true with our negative stimuli, such as I can’t cook/run/loose weight. Our brain is all to willing to believe whatever we want to tell it. It is willing to help us believe and when we believe in something it is ten times easier for us to create. So it’s up to us to take charge of what we tell our brains.

Words really do have  so much power when it comes to our brain. The world of marketing uses word and repetitions tricks to make you want to buy things you don’t want or need. (And you know it works because otherwise you wouldn’t have that bizarre health food stuff going out of date in the back of your kitchen cupboard that you bought after seeing it on tv, in the newspaper or on Facebook and still 6 months later you have no idea how to use it or even pronounce its name!) So if the marketeers can do it, so can you! You can use your words to convince your brain of anything. Once your brain is on board you will feel a shift in your energy and no matter what your new routine you are starting, habit you want to cultivate or negative thought pattern you want to turn around, you will succeed.

As Jesse Jackson (A civil rights leader who worked with Martin Luther King ) said

“If my mind can conceive it, and my heart can believe it, I know I can achieve it.”

So here are 6 easy steps for you to get your brain on board and create new beliefs so you can make Jesse Jackson’s words a reality for you and create the positive happy life you want. 

Commit

The first step is the most important. Commit. To whatever it is. Commit to making this positive change  and new belief in your life. Make sure it is something you feel passionate about. If you don’t burn for this change it ain’t gonna happen. Decide exactly what thought you need to believe to make your desired change.

Create an affirmation

The best and simplest way of creating a new belief is by using affirmations. Sentences you repeat to yourself. There are many great affirmations out there you can use (and I do). However I think the best affirmations are the ones we make for ourselves. They are the most authentic. My favourite self created affirmation is still “I am the most powerful me”. Be creative and think big. If you are changing your thoughts make sure you are going for gold. At the same time keep it so that you can believe it.

Begin your affirmations with ‘I am’, “I know…” “I have…” “I love…” and keep them simple. You are going to have to say these a lot so make sure the sentences easy to remember. Remember it is ok if your statements sound a bit false to you at the beginning, affirmations are 100 % faking it until you until make it. Suspend reality in this creative process and go for what you want. You are the most powerful you.

Say it loud and proud

Affirmations work best when said out loud ,basically because they stimulate your senses. So say your affirmations out loud. If you find it challenging you can build up to it. Start by writing them out daily. Then write them out and read them out loud quietly and over time increase the volume until you are at your normal speaking voice. At last just say your affirmations out loud.

Repeat, repeat, repeat

You can hold about 7 statements in your head for about 30 seconds. If you don’t repeat them, the belief in those statements goes away. If you do repeat them, they go into your  “working memory,” for anywhere between 90 to 120 minutes.  If you don’t repeat them then, the information will be lost and won’t necessarily come back. However if you do repeat them then the statements will enter your long-term memory. So do your affirmations throughout the day not just in the mornings or evenings. Go outside for five minutes in your lunch break and say your affirmations. (If you put your phone headphones on and walk people think you are talking on the phone, so don’t worry about what everyone else thinks of you, they are far too  busy with their own lives!) Aim to do your affirmations in the same time slots throughout the day to get the best repetition effects.

Some people say that it takes 14 days,  to learn a new habit, some say 21. Personally I am in the Hal Elrod school of 30 days (See in the book The Miracle Morning). It gives 3 stages of habit forming and the last 10 are the most rewarding. Keep repeating your affirmations minimum of 3 times a day for 30 days. You brain will be supporting you too the absolute max and you will be in the perfect place of belief to create the positive happy life you want really easily.

Remind yourself of your new belief

Use triggers to help you remember your affirmations. I use an idea of Louise Hay’s. Around my home are many small red hearts in places where I see them frequently. By my desk is the same red heart with the affirmation “Life loves me and I am blessed”. Whenever I see a heart I say the affirmation and I know in my heart how lucky I am for my lovely life.

Routines combined with affirmations such as playing certain music or brushing your hair whilst saying your affirmations will form associations which you can use as reminders to keep reinforcing your new beliefs and keep your brain on your side. You can even allow a negative thought to be your trigger. For example every time you see someone with a healthy body and your brain says “I can’t look like that” turn the thought into “ I am working towards having a super healthy body that I love”.  Think of reminders that will work for you into your affirmation routine from day 1 for the best results.

Stay in charge

If you feel when saying your affirmations resistance to believing what you are saying notice it. It could be a teaching. A piece of information that helps you understand your resistance to your life change that you can work with. However if it is just an old negative belief wanting to be heard, let it go. You are the boss of what you think so stay in charge.
Have fun creating your new beliefs this week. You and your brain have everything thing you need to create the positive happy life you want, all you need to do is believe it ❤

 

mind heart.jpg