#LifeLesson101 – Ways to find your self respect and be true to yourself (3 min read)

 

Happy Friday y’all 😀

This week during my miracle morning it was time to choose a new book.( I always love this part it’s exciting to think of the new teachings to come.) So I closed my eyes and let my hand fall naturally on a new book. To my disappointment it landed on the Way of the Peaceful Warrior by Dan Macmillan. Don’t get me wrong , it’s a great book with many insights and teachings, it just wasn’t what I was hoping for. So although reluctant, I decided that the universe knows best and read it anyway.

I am so glad I did. One teaching became so apparently clear that I couldn’t ignore it.

Do you respect yourself?

And if you don’t how can you expect others to respect you?

(Although really that’s is not seriously important, your opinion of you matters the most)

This question rolled around my mind, a lot. Do I truly respect myself? I like myself, in fact, I’d go as far to say I love myself. But respect, well I had never given it proper consideration.  And then that poses the question if I don’t respect myself then how can I love myself?  And that  led to what is self respect?

What is self respect? There are so many answers to this question. Self respect is extremely personal. For me it means walking my talk and living my truth. If I put my beliefs into practise then I am truly able to respect myself.

Time to get back to the drawing board and figure out a way to create my self respect……….

Below is the process  of four steps I have been through during this week  to recover my self respect. And already I feel so much better. Already by making myself more aware of the things I need to do to respect myself, the  more I feel my belief in myself rising and my vibration changing. Now my self respect is growing and due to that I love myself even more. When you love and respect yourself life is a beautiful experience from the vibration you send out.

Decide what self respect means to you.

This is a personal definition. No answer to that question is wrong or right. Decide what is right for you.

What do I respect myself for?

One of the best processes ever. Make a list of things that you respect yourself for. Start every sentence with I respect myself for ……………………… Once you start it’s hard to stop. There is so much you have to respect yourself for so take a moment to celebrate that.

What don’t I respect myself for?

Using your definition of self respect make a new list. The what I don’t respect myself for list. Be truthful. Start every sentence with I don’t respect myself for ……………………… You will know if you are not being honest and with this honesty counts. Don’t get into your stuff about these things or allow a negative self judging spiral to start. You are doing something about these challenges now. They are in the past and it is the now you can change.

From not respecting you to respecting you

Look at the don’t respect list. For each of the points write what you can do to change this around and respect yourself for. For example I want to help the planet recover from the abuse it has suffered and yet I was eating Macdonald. (I know, don’t say it I know) So the solution was simply to choose not to eat there. Basically from positive to negative.

Do it and be kind to you

You have a plan so follow it. You know now after this process what you need to do, so do it. And be kind to you. It’s ok if you don’t manage to make the changes all at once. Allow yourself to notice if you fall off the bandwagon. Notice let it go and then do you best to hold to your resolutions and create the new habits you are forming.

 

Take a journey of discovery this week and improve your self respect, it will I promise lead to some fantastic and rich insights that will make you more conscious of your life and much, much happier every day.  After all if you are being true to yourself then the rest is just icing on the cake….mmmm cake!

Happy Friday 🙂

true-to-your-self

5 simple ways to start communicating positively. (4 min read)

 

Positive communication. That phrase gets thrown around a lot these days. Does it really make a difference in our lives? Well in my opinion yes, it really does. Words are one of the most powerful things man has ever created. Words are powerful wether words of love or war, of learning or abuse. Words (in my not very humble opinion) create at least 90% of the man made world and a 100% of our society. If you are awares of the law of vibration or the butterfly effect and relate that to words, then it is easy to see how words of negativity or positivity make a great a difference on our planet.

Internally positive communication also makes a big difference. We all know if we are negative with ourselves, our self esteem lowers. Life seems harder and more difficult to enjoy. However with positive thoughts the world is beautiful and so are we.  Some consider constant positivity as fake. Well in a way it partly is. After all life is not sunshine, rainbows and peachy all of the time. (Thank goodness or we wouldn’t have opportunities to grow). The old fake it till you make principle does have to be applied to shift behaviour. However it is not fake to want to see and experience the best in life and change your language to reflect that. The bottom line is positive communication makes life more pleasant ,whether that is at work, at home or inside our heads.

Here are 5 simple  things you can do to start using positive communication today.

Accept that your brain is stupid

Seriously it is. All of us have a dumb brain. even Mr Stephan Hawkins and the like. How on earth is that a positive thing? Well because the brain is so dumb it believes whatever you tell it. Physocological research has discovered that if you tell your brain something 5 times you belive it. The familiar = truth. Easy to understand = truth. So short and sweet affirmations e.g  I love you, thank you for my life, and today is going to be a great day. Tell yourself NO loudly whenever your mind is trying to be negative make more of impact than prolonged debate in your head.

Take the power back

We all do it. We all can let our thoughts rule us. And why? We are the choreographers of our life. Who made that negative voice in your head the expert? No-one. So the next time it tries to tell you that you are not good enough to get that promotion, remember his voice has never been a CEO. And after that reverse the negative thought to a positive thought and take back the power inside of you!

Listen

I mean it. Really listen. 45% of our communication is actually listening. In HAvamal an ancient Viking text offering advice for life it says (something like) the wisest of men are the most silent and do not waste words. So make mental summaries of the conversation as you listen. Take an interest in the subject in discussion, make sure that the other person has finished talking before you answer or comment, as well  give a well thought out answer. Even if you have to ask the other person to wait a moment while you give time to that answer. Remember it is actually okay to be silent too, sometimes other people just need to talk.

Be conscious of the language you use

Choose your words carefully. So often we speak negatively without noticing. Be conscious in how you use your language. For example instead of joining two sentences with a ‘but’, join them with an ‘and’ or ‘however’. But is a word our minds associate with an excuse, the other two words with taking responsibility, action and possibility. Another one I like to use is the word challenge instead of issue or problem. I use this so much I find that I sometimes flinch when others say these words. Making a problem into a challenge creates the mental image of something one can solve and overcome.  And instead of saying you will try, say you will do your best, after all no-one can expect more from you.

Assumption is the mother of all fuck ups.

You know the situation. Sitting at the dinner table talking to your partner. Their response is blithe or even sometimes harsh. Internally we feel hurt. We assume that it was their intention to hurt us. We come from a place of upset as we talk, the conversation digresses and an argument ensues. The poor confused partner has no idea what is happening and of course responds to the “unwarranted attack”. A recipe for a horrid evening. Assumption is seriously the mother of all fuck ups. Well instead of assuming ask. Say out loud the inner dialogue. Ask “Did you mean to say that in a hurtful way?” If your partner is anything like Mr T the response is usually something like “Oh no sorry. I was thinking about fish/ minecraft/a new bb gun” !

This works at home or at work. Take charge of the emotional response and allow yourself to ask if the situation really is how you read it.

And to help you remember it all ……….

Every day I read Gandhi’s statement about positivity. (Actually I can’t help but read it, it hangs opposite my toilet!)

Keep your thoughts positive because your thoughts become your words. Keep your words positive because your words become your behavior. Keep your behavior positive because your behavior becomes your habits. Keep your habits positive because your habits become your values. Keep your values positive because your values become your destiny.

Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi

Everyday Gandhi reminds me to be concious in my thoughts, words  and deeds because they truely are the most powerful things I can offer to the world.

Positive communication takes dedication and concious practice at the beginning. Once you begin to use it daily,it does become easier and automatic. After all the brain (not you)  is stupid and it will believe whatever you choose to tell it. You just have to decide if you want to tell it something positive or something negative !

silence.jpg

#lifelessons101 – We have all we need inside to create a beautiful life for ourselves and make the world a better place. (With Bruce Almighty, seriously!)

 (This friday includes Life lessons from five people- some of whom you wouldn’t expect to be teachers!)

nothing-changes-unless-you-change

It’s been a busy week. My first full week back at uni college since, well since the dark ages. My head is full of analysing danish literature, newspapers and trying to keep up with the written work in a foreign language. In reality I am exhausted.  (So please excuse the rambling nature of this post – stick to the end I promise it will be worth it!)

Now with all of this I have still been looking forward to the beautiful time of autumn equinox, when the sun and moon, day and night balance. This is the time when the seasons turn and we step into the full beauty of autumn. I can see it around me. The leaves are green and brown. The land golden and green. Around me the world is in the midst of change.

Change. A scary but essential and absolute fact of life. Everything changes. Constantly. A long time I used to think that change was awful. It made me feel unsafe. However that was in the time before I began to understand that I am actually the choreographer of my life. For me this understanding has come in stages in fact a new teaching/reminder came just last night from where? The universe? (Well yes, but not exactly.) It came from Bruce Almighty!

Bruce reminded me of the point of understanding I have reached to make change my friend.  I  now understand and accept that I have everything I need to make any change I need or want in my life. In fact I have the power to do anything I want to do. I am the co creator of my life, Me and the universe dancing together.

When I started to think about how I learnt this it surprised me and I think it will surprise you to see who the main five people are that have made me so happily aware of my own power!

 

Lesson number 1: Michael Jackson. Flash back to the 80s and there am I sitting in my room with my, oh so cool white stereo, playing a new album (On cassette, we dinosaurs did not have cds or mp3s or spotify!) by Michael Jackson. Blaring out across my the room was “ The man in the mirror” again and again. If you have never heard this song then go listen. The only bit I can  ever remember is the chorus,

I’m Starting With The Man In

The Mirror

I’m Asking Him To Change

His Ways

And No Message Could Have

Been Any Clearer

If You Wanna Make The World

A Better Place

Take A Look At Yourself, And

Then Make A Change

 

Even today it still gives me goose bumps. Now whatever your opinion is of Jacko, in these words he is unquestionably right. A certainty of life is that you have the power to completely change only one thing in this world. And that’s you. And from  the ripples of that change, the world around us changes.

Lesson number 2 : Ghandi. How could it not be, right? The immortal words “Be the change you want to see”. By changing us we reflect out into the world.  Showing it the way we want it to be. At first I took this mantra in relation to environmental protesting. E.g. How could I protest about human abuse of the Earth if I didn’t recycle. I still believe this to be true and do my best to live in a truthful and authentic way. But as the years have gone on I have understood the message much more internally. If I want the world to be a more beautiful place then it’s me that has to change my reaction to whatever life sends me.

Lesson 3: Buddah. Of course he was going to be in here. My A-level English teacher taught me one thing that has stayed with me for the rest of my life. (Well he taught me two things but don’t get me started on why Australian people should not analyse Chaucer and compare him with Freud. We will be here all day.) He taught me the story of how Buddha chose not to accept the gift of negativity. One day I will post up the story and link this article to it. But for now the message is that Buddha could have chosen to be angry or to not be affected by another person and he chose the latter.

Lesson 4: Jim Carey. I know Jim is not the first person that pops into mind when you say inspirational people changing my life (neither is Michael Jackson . I digress. You hopefully get my point). But Jim is inspirational for me. HAve you ever heard Jim speak about the law of attraction? If not do, university youtube means you can see this all night. At one event  Jim asks “ Are you aware that all of this is happening inside of you?” His speech was about intention and how through our attention we are the creators of our own experiences and our own lives. If we consciously react to a situation it is us that makes it good or bad. For example by missing the bus and having to walk to a destination to be on time is taken as a bad thing ,then believe me it’s going to be a bad walk. But if you choose to be grateful for the experience, notice the scenery and even discover a new route, then that journey will be fun and enlightening. It’s up to you how you create it.

And the ultimate, ultimate lesson which lead me to the best peace of mind I have ever known and wish I could share with the whole world, every single day. The last piece of the jigsaw which makes all change and life so very much easier. Well that I found out through a long, long journey but last night I got reminded of it again. As promised….

Lesson 5: Bruce Almighty. God and Bruce are talking in two different scenes. In the first  God is asked how he can permit all the suffering in the world God, the amazing Morgan Freeman; replies ”I don’t permit the suffering. You do. Free will. All the choices are yours.” It really is that simple. We have the choice. But the other scene? Now that really hammered it home to me . Again God and Bruce are talking I can’t remember or find the exact quote but it goes something like this. Bruce asks God what if he needs help? And God points out the problem with people is that they are always looking up for help when the solution lies within us. We have the power within us to solve any problem, create any change, survive any change, enjoy our lives, hate our lives and achieve anything we can dream.

 

Now , I know its tough. Butwhen you realise the amazing tool kit  you have inside of you. Understandings passed down the generations in your DNA. The achievements you have made and the disappointments you have survived. The teachings life has given you, even when the lesson comes from the most bizarre of sources. You will see that you have everything, no  you have so more than everything you need within you to make a wonderful life for yourself . And at the same time  you can also make the world a more beautiful place. 

(And next time you forget it turn to Jacko to remind you !! Have a fantastic weekend!)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PivWY9wn5ps

 

Fantastic gems about life that we forget so often – Enjoy :D

Written by Millionaire’s Digest Team Member: Edah Deborah Founder & Owner of: EbonyDebbie Millionaire’s Digest Team, Contributor, Food, Healthy Living and Successful Living Writer We all heard about the saying that life is short. Yes we know and we accept that it is. But there are other things you should know about life, that will help […]

via 5 Things You Need to Know About Life (1 min read) — The Millionaire’s Digest

The Mustard Seed- inspiration when you need it the most.

Have you ever seen a Mustard seed?

They are tiny.

If dropped only the keenest of eyes could find them, if seriously lucky.

 

mustard-seed-in-a-hand

 

However even with the tiniest of seeds, Mustard grows into tall and strong plant, with many, many branches. Now the Mustard seed can be an inspiration to us all. Especially in those times when nothing seems to be going right, when life feels stagnant and bleak. When things seem unsurmountable the mustard seed shows us in a real and tangible way that if we start small we can achieve. After all if a Mustard seed can grow from something so small, push through the earth to the sun, fighting through the seemingly impossible challenges, then so can we.

The mustard seed can also inspire us as proof that from the smallest of things something great can grow and multiply. From the most tiny spark of inspiration it is possible to multiply and grow onward and upward. Everything around us in the human world (not the natural) started with a small idea and grew and grew. Walt Disney, (who is one of my inspirations. I know not everyone’s favourite cup of tea but he is definitely mine) had two nervous breakdowns and multiple business failures before he came upon his Mickey Mouse the catalyst for the Disney Empire today. So from the smallest mouse a giant corporation grew and even then it took a few attempts to start it.

steamboat_willie

 

 There are many tips, tricks, ideas and advice out there to help you overcome blocks and be inspired to grow. However today I am not going to tell you about those. Instead I am going to ask you to do something for me and for you. The very next time you think something is impossible, that life is stagnating, or you cannot find the belief that you can do what it is you want to do; find a story. A story that reminds you that from the smallest of beginnings you can grow. Look for tangible inspiration that resonates with you and allow the story to guide you on. So that you too can grow and become as tall and strong as a mustard plant or as well known and loved as a small mouse.

 

Good luck with your dreams, you can and will make them a reality remember …..

from-small-beginings

 

 

P.s.

Btw I can’t take credit for the lesson of the Mustard Seed (or Mickey Mouse!). The mustard seed is a parable told by Jesus to his followers. And no I am not  trying to push any religious dogma upon you. I believe that a great teaching can come from anywhere and can be respected and inspiring no matter what you believe about the world or the universe.

 

 

#lifelessons101- Life loves me, and it loves you too.

I have been thinking long and hard about what to write to you this friday. So much has happened in this last week. So many life lessons have been popping up. I have been learning about the gifts of apology, how to balance my life and my work.  I also started college again – believe me at 38, in a foreign country and in a foreign language this is a real challenge. However none of these lessons are complete enough for me to feel comfortable writing about them to you. (They’ll be here at some point so keep your eyes peeled).

And then this morning a burst of inspiration came. Still glowing from the beautiful morning serenade Mr T gave me as I caught the bus, (seriously how can I not love this guy) I opened the current book I am reading, “Life loves you” by Robert Holden and Louise Hay. And I realised this is what I want to share with you today. Life loves you.

Now saying that life loves me (and you) is easy to say and hard to believe. However as I have been sitting the last few weeks,  in my beautiful new home, writing my daily gratitude list, it has been impossible to not notice the abundance and love in my life. I am truly happy and truly blessed. I feel at peace with myself.

It has been a long journey. Only two and a half years ago, I was sitting on my bed, scrolling through my telephone book, knowing I needed help and not knowing who to ask. At that point I wanted to end my life and look at me now. The transition has been painful, beautiful and a gift.

And it is a continuous and constant process. This book reitterates for me all that I have learnt. Just reading the title inspired me. “Life loves me” Well yes, yes it does. How could it not. ”Life loves you”. How could it not.  We are part of life, part of the universe and although it’s not always easy to love yourself, I doubt very much the universe created us just to hate us. It’s illogical. This journey of loving myself is a wonderful gift. Certain daily practices have helped so much and it’s these I want to share with you today.

4 Steps to guide you to love you

Pictures of you

Now you might have seen the recent trend on Facebook . You have to  post five pictures of you that you most love. I am happy to say I did this long before Facebook (although I am glad it’s finally starting to be out there for everyone). I found 5 physical photos of me that I love. Photos that reminded me of happy times, times that I was truly shining and being my authentic self. I wrote the reasons why I love me at these times. Then looking at the photos I chose three of them that represented times where I am most proud of me and wrote this on the photos as well. Now those pictures hang in my room reminding me every day why I love me.

The greatest part about this journey is that you will actually find more than 5 photos you love and more than 3 things you are proud of. In fat if you come from a place where you don’t love and appreciate you, this experience gives you so many reminders of how beautiful and strong you really are.

Gratitude, gratitude, gratitude

I know I bang on about this all the time but gratitude is really the best way to appreciate your life, the people in  your life and the world around you. Gratitude also brings you into the now.

Often (as Lousie Hay points out in Life Loves you) we expect to be abundant and loved in the future. But the future becomes today and you are abundant and loveable right now. By being grateful for what you have you see the proof of how valued you are within the universe. How much it loves you and how much you love your life. When you love your life it is not a challenge to love yourself.

Daily affirmations

I love how our bodies work. If we tell ourselves something often enough we believe it. Affirmations are a fantabulous way of doing this. Around my home are many beautiful quotes and pictures reminding me and Mr T how wonderful we are. My favourite is on my bathroom door, (actually my bathroom has the most affirmations on the wall than any other room in our house!) It simply states. If anyone has not told you today, you are magical, beautiful and you can’t achieve anything you want to achieve.

One of the most effective ways of using affirmations is mirror work. Louise (or is it Robert? Hmm can’t remember ergo not important), suggests that you stand in front of your mirror everyday and tell yourself “I love you”. At first this  seems a real challenge. However once it becomes part of your daily ritual the easier it comes to you and the more believable it is. On our mirror is a little homemade sign which reads “I love you” every day when I see it I find myself  blowing  kisses to myself. It sounds foolish, well it is and I like it!

Ten points

On of the teachings in the book is the ten points. This is built up around the affirmation

“Life loves me and I am blessed”

Around your house put ten reminder marks. They can be stickers, something you will see. Every time you see one say the affirmation aloud. It inspires and brings an inner glow every time. Sometimes these days when I see it I say the affirmation and my inner child shouts out “I KNOW” and it’s true. I really do know that Life loves me and I am truly blessed.

So make your window a magical love affair with yourself because once you begin to realise how beautiful, how loveable you are, the world is an even more beautiful place.
Have a wonderful weekend ❤

 

lifelovesyou

 

4 Steps to Beating the Procrastination Cycle

4 Steps to Beating the Procrastination Cycle

Procrastination my arch enemy. I was (and still can be) one of the world’s best at procrastinating.If they handed out medals mine would have been a gold every single day. (I could have been quite wealthy!) I bashed my snooze button every morning. I made my things to do lists each week and each day, I am also a list addict; and quite happily ignore them or put stuff off, take longer with the easier tasks and would use the ever unproductive phrase I’ll do it tomorrow. Tomorrow as we know never comes and each week the same tasks would inevitably end up on the new list. My motivation was down. The judging voice in my head got louder. And with lack of motivation the procrastinating just got worse. A vicious circle.

 

However as I started to create conscious changes in my life, the more and more procrastination became an irritation, a useless tool in my toolbox for life. And at the same time a familiar and comforting habit. So through advice and searching the encyclopedia of the internet, not forgetting of course university Youtube I eventually found some techniques that worked for me.

So here are 4 tried and tested steps that you can use to beat the procrastination cycle:

The Miracle Morning – My absolute favourite

Miracle Morning is an amazing system created by the wonderful and energetic Hal Elrod. Inspired by the morning routines of the world’s most successful people, Miracle Morning takes roughly half an hour where first thing in the morning you do five minutes of Writing, Exercise, Meditation, Affirmations, Reading and Visualizations. You can do this in any order you like and choose how you wish to do these activities as long as its the first thing you do when you get up in the morning. It takes retraining of the snooze finger however this is one of the most energising routines I have ever had in my life. Check Hal’s presentation of the Miracle Morning on Youtube or visit his website.

ABCDE

Assuming you make a list of things to do each day whether at work or in your life (or if list addicted as I am both). It is easy to get caught up in your list, to trudge through it and still find at the end of the day you have achieved 10% of your goals for that day. Time wasting and demotivation. ABCDE is one of the best tools I have found to save all my wasted time. The process is simple. Look at your tasks for the day. Decide which are highest priority your A tasks. The B tasks would be great to achieve. The C you can move to another day if needed. The D tasks are the ones you can delegate (and yes that does include pass the washing up onto the teenage child). And E are expendable, not necessary, at least for now. After that just follow your priorities in order.

Eat that Frog!

Brian Tracy’s book is a fantastic motivator and a highly recommendable read for the constant procrastination offender. The concept is simple. Generally there is one task that you don’t want to do, need to do or will take a lot of energy to complete. This is your frog and you need to eat it. No one likes to eat frogs but by using energy to do this you will get a dopamine rush through self pride that can motivate you for you day even the entire week. So eat that frog straight away, first thing in the morning and start your day by being proud of you.

70% is a Fantastic day.

Seriously it is rare (and wonderful) to get 100% days where everything is done and you are rising high. We are all full of perfect imperfections and if we aimed for 100% achievement every day we run the risk of missing our expectations and heading down the path to the darkside. An ex once taught me the wonderful secret that 70% achievement is a fantastic day. 50% is average. And below 50% means checking out why these goals aren’t being reached, look to see if they are necessary. Be kind to yourself. Accept your results and move on. And if you do get that perfect golden 100% day. Celebrate it. Reward yourself. You are your own personal coach and team so treat yourself when you are exceptional, life is also about enjoyment.

 

So start your day inspired and motivated, prioritise your daily activities, tackle the most challenging task of the day and reward yourself for success and you will find that the procrastination cycle slips away and you productivity frees up your personal time so you can enjoy the journey of your life.

procrastination-quote

 

#lifelessons101 – Its okay to ask for help

Asking for help. Often not the easiest thing in the world I know.  As I have been unpacking our new home, I have found it really difficult to ask Mr T for help. Exhausted and fed up I finally broke down. To which the confused and consoling Mr T said “why didn’t you just ask me for help?” And as usual he was right. Wherever I look around me at this time of year I see farmers cutting down the corn, busy day and night pulling in the harvest. I am amazed by their energy and efforts and often forget they can’t do it alone. We all need help. Humans are pack animals and a pack is there to support us.

But how to ask for help? Well once I remembered it was ok to ask for help I remembered that actually it’s not too difficult when you follow some simple steps. Whether it be for the little things, or the big situations in life, the same steps can be applied.

Swallow your pride.

Asking for help means acknowledging that you are not perfect. Accept it and know that it’s ok. We all have different talents strengths and weakness. We are designed to work together. Plus if we were all good at the same things life would be very boring.

Work out what you need help with.

You need to know exactly what it is you want help with. Identify the problem and what it is that you find difficult. There is no point in asking for help if you don’t know why you are asking. And often people want to help you, but in the way they want to help, not in the way you need. Which believe me does not work. It might be that you need help to figure out what you need help with. That’s ok, so ASK!

Choose the right person.

So who is the right person for the job? Once when living alone I sprained both of my ankles at the same time. (I know genius right!) My house was getting dirty and I couldn’t clean it. At the same time lived 3 stories high and couldn’t get my shopping upstairs. Asking for help with the shopping was easy, I asked a neighbour. But when it came to the cleaning I didn’t actually think about if it was the right person to help, I took the easiest, quickest option. Needless to say my kind and  well meaning friend, who was unable to clean, came rushing in helped for 30 mins and then rushed out again. Leaving me with a half finished job and a lot of frustration. Get the right person for the job, it saves time and frustration.

Be grateful.

It kinda goes without saying really but being thankful for the help. Whether it’s from a stranger or a friend, thanks goes along way to making them feel good. Remember when you ask for help you make people feel needed. In the case of the unpacking and Mr T I was actually making him feel unnecessary by not asking for  his help. By asking for help he felt needed and it became a positive experience for us both. (The addition of Nerf guns also help A LOT!) So recognise the other person’s enjoyment in helping you and be grateful.

Pay it forward.

Once you have had help you can pay it forward. It may be that the person who helped you doesn’t need your help, someone else will. So pay forward the kindness shown to you by someone else and glow in the joy of helping them.

 

Asking for help brings rewards to many people not just you. And remember once you have asked for help,it’s ok to ask for help again if it’s needed. Many hands do make ligth work. We humans need a support network, as much as a forestś do, to sustain us. If you have trouble asking for help watch this video below and see how a forest shares it’s nutrients, which increases survival of the younger trees. A reminder that in the natural world life is a shared experience and as we are part of that world, life is better when we share it with others. 
http://www.karmatube.org/videos.php?id=2764

huge-24-123479

 

 

5 Steps to surviving the hardest of days……..

Let’s face it, some days are just shit. No matter how much you call positivity into your life, the universe sometimes hands us a big bag of crap which drains every bit of our strength. I am having one of these days today. Today my kitten Smutte, only 10 weeks old was put down, she had epilepsy it started with 8 epileptic fits in one day and got worse, she was just too young to have medication. It is my own personal hell, my positivity is at an all time low, I feel like a wet dish cloth wrung out.

So how to cope on a day like today. Realistically it’s tough. Here are 5 steps to help you to survive the hardest of days.

Re assess your expectations and activities

So you may have had a whole day of goals to achieve. When you are so low it’s a huge mountain to climb. So reassess what you can do. Now you need to put the big things on hold. You cannot be your best right now so don’t try, you’ll be disappointed with the results. Instead choose no more than three basic things you can achieve. Keep it simple. Putting on the washing or doing the washing up or having a shower. These tasks need to be manageable. These three things will give you something to be proud of today and you need that little reminder.

Ask for help and support.

It can hard to reach out when we need it most. I find that its actually easier to write it than ask in person. So send an email, a facebook message or sms. Explain (if you can) the challenge or just that you need some support. And (again if you can) explain what help you need. Our friends and family often feel more valued if we can turn to them for support and your boss and colleagues will respect you more if you choose to wait until you can give your 100% to important tasks.

Be good to you.

It’s pretty simple, be nice to yourself. If you enjoy bubble baths, have one. Make a nice meal, give yourself a hand massage, go for a walk , a swim or a run. Do what works for you. Today although I feel awful, dancing with the kids, doing jigsaw puzzles and playing board games has raise my dopamine level and I feel a bit better.  Making your evening as relaxing as possible, it really helps.

It’s okay to be upset.

It really is. You must have heard the advice that when you feel bad think of how other have it worse and realise you have it better than them. This belittles your situation and usually makes you feel guilty. It’s ok to feel upset. It’s okay to cry. Your sadness is justified and it is healthy to cry it out. Crying release toxins in our body, afterwards you do feel better. So cry your heart out. If it’s hard try watching a sad movie. Every release helps.

Make yourself laugh.

Laughter is the best medicine, although it sounds tough I know. I once read an inspiring article of a cancer patient who knew that her attitude would have a direct effect on her recovery. So she and partner watch funny tv programs every evening making them laugh. So read funny books, trawl the internet for funny memes or watch something funny. A bit of humor never hurt anyone, in fact is usually heals us.

Sleep as much as you can.

Sleep heals us. The body is in hormonal chaos when we are sad or upset, sleep helps us recover and regain energy. If it’s hard try putting on some relaxing music, for me reading always works (nothing highly intellectual often Asterix or what I call chewing gum for the brain books.) Sleep as much as you can and give you body a chance to recover.

Remember the wise saying “ Everything will get better in the end. If it’s not better it’s not the end.” Things will get better. No matter how dark the night the sun will always return to bring us new light. So take care of yourselves, be kind and remember the storms always make us stronger.

Grow when you face challenges